What Was I Thinking

ive only been married for a little over a year. we have two children a boy whos 14months and a girl 4 months. my husband is in the national guard last june he found out hes was going to be sent to iraq. after he found out he started pushing me away by treating my horrably and saying things like he dosnt want to be with me and the children and i would be better off with out him. after about a month of that he was gone for a drill and one of his male friends came over to hang out with me out of the blue. i didnt think anything of it i was upset and needed someone to talk to anyways so i said he could stay. we talked for a little bit then watched a movie. during the movie my husband called and was very mean to me and said some horrable things i thought my marraige was pretty much over. well his friend was very supportave and very good at listening. i ended up starting to have sex with him but stopped. in august my husband left for wisconson for training before he was suppost to go to iraq he eneded up getting injured and sent back home in september. i tried living with the guilt and not telling him but in december i couldnt do it anymore and i told him. at first he seemed to be able to get over it then january he moved out. now its on agian off again he loves me he hates me. two nights ago he told me i ruined his life and he hates me and wants to find someone else who wont cheat on him...and so on....i am very much in love with my husband and i would do anything to get him back. i just dont know what to do now

aferditie21 aferditie21
4 Responses Feb 18, 2009

Although you cheated on your husband which is wrong any person reading your story including me will be inclined to advise you to separate from your husband and seek a better person for your sake as well as your children sake.

Let him go honey, he sounds like a train wreck

Do you think it was a mistake telling him at all? You know a lot of experts will say that telling/confessing only helps the confessor (helps with the guilt), but it does nothing positive for the one offended - with hindsight, would you do that again (tell)? Just wondering - definitely not judging - I think the comments above are good ideas and I agree with them.

You need to ask him what he needs from you in order to forgive him - and if you dont want to do what he asks or he says there is nothing - you need to accept its over. <br />
How about some counselling?