Regret Every Second
As far as adulterous wives, I think I win first prize. I was two months away from retiring from my job, looking forward to being a stay at home mom. Our 10 year anniversary was a month away, and we were attending marriage classes at our church. I ran into a boyfriend from 21 years back, someone who had hurt me, but we had been very close. Of all the people to run into, it HAD to be him! Initially, the phone converssation was like it used to be. We talked for hours, which led to text messaging, which began to bring back feelings in both of us. In my mind, I was receiving the undivided attention I had so wanted from my husband. It felt good. Eventually, the talking became intimate, and the affair began. During the two months, I "celebrated" 10 years of marriage, renewed my wedding vows, and retired from my job. The night of my retirement, I was with the other man. I didn't do this because I was unhappy with my marriage. I had no intentions of leaving my husband and four children. I simply loved the attention that was showered on me by this man. Well, my husband found out, and I admitted everything. He immediately moved out of the house. It's been two months, and life is hell. The kids just know that Dad is really busy at work, and helping Grandpa with his new house. Every day, I feel more and more lost. How could I have done this? So many memories, now meaningless to my husband. I can say that his love for me was deeper and stronger than I ever knew. I know that now. I don't know how we will end up, but I can only pray that he comes home and gives me a chance to be his wife again.