I've always had pretty low self esteem. I have been married for over ten years with two children. I started flirting online with an old friend. It seemed harmless and almost like a fiction. I've never touched another woman (since I've been with my wife I mean), nor did I ever intend to. I just flirted and made innuendoes and things, over a period of a few months. It wasn't an everyday, or every week thing. Just occasionally. It was inappropriate. I've been feeling guilty, really guilty and filled with shame, for about a week now. It suddenly all caught up with me and all of a sudden felt real. I hate myself. I want to tell my wife to alleviate my guilt, but I don't want to tell her because I have zero intention of behaving like this again and I don't want to transfer my guilt to her pain. Thoughts?