I Cheat On My Wife....

I know i have a problem which is embarrasing. I like to cheat on my wife and I don't know why, i was abandoned by my mother when i was one year old so i have a very hard time trusting women. I guess that is the reason why i cheat. she is a good women but our sex life is just not there. i like flirting with women and i find it challenging when i meet a beautiful women and i immediatly ask my self if i want to take her to bed. i had many relationships in the past but i broke up with most of them due to not wanting a commitment. now i have a good life we both have a good job and have two kids and i still like cheating. what is wrong with me. please don't judge i feel terrible and i hate myself for that but i feel like i can't help it....
theprojects theprojects
31-35, M
16 Responses Jan 6, 2013

you can track her by HelloSpy to trust her more, if not you can lose her

Try and talk to ur wife tell her that the intimacy just isn't there no more. And if u want to work on it then your really gonna have to stop cheating. Think of your kids don't make them have to go through ****. Think bout the vows you took when u married your wife. I'm sure it wasn't all for nothing

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I CHEATED ON MY WIFE SEVERAL YEARS AGO IT WAS WHEN BUSINESS , MONEY TENSION ETC THAT I DRIFTED AWAY WE DIDN'T TALK THE MORE I DIDN'T TALK ABOUT MY FEELINGS SHE DIDN'T TALK AND I WOUND UP CHEATING COMMUNICATE , COMMUNICATE, I CAN'T SAY IT ENOUGH, IF YOU LOVE EACH OTHER YOU'LL FIND A WAY PUT AS MUCH IF NOT MORE EFFORT IN YOUR MARRIAGE AS YOU DO TRYING TO HIDE YOUR CHEATING IN THE LONG RUN YOU'LL SEE IT WILL COME OUT ALRIGHT FOR BOTH OF YOU

i'm here because i was looking for someone who had a similar problem. you can tell by my groups and name that i have very little physical interaction with my wife at all. recently i met a woman, older than me and very very comfortable with her sexuality. couldn't resist... i'll probably post this later as a story but my point is, fight for your wife. i know the guilt is unbearable so why live that way? rightfully she should be all you need and if she somehow falls short of whut you need, it's only fair to tell her. i srsly doubt your wife is as cold and selfish as mine. enjoy that and take full advantage of a woman who loves you.. this time in a positive way.

Everybody has a choice in life and you have made yours. Nobody else is to blame for your actions. You have your own mind. My boyfriend cheated on me for 4 months and blamed it on his parents splitting when he was 5!? What...come on now!!!?? Think about the pain you would cause your partner...do you have no guilt!? If you felt anything for her at all you could never live with your actions. I could never cheat on anyone for the pure guilt would be so overwhelming. I can't understand why people cheat and then make themselves a victim. Each time you do it you should think about the lives are you are tearing apart. I know you don't want criticism...but there is no excuse for cheating. You will hurt someone less by ending things then by betraying them. Please find a way to do the right thing. The pain of being cheated on by someone you love is indescribable.

HI! I think, you don't have to blame your mother about it... It was and it will be always your choice. Why don't you (both of you) try to go to a marriage & sex counseling? That would be a good start to renew the romance between you and your wife. You are just affected or influenced by your friends who kept mocking your wife... If you really love her, revive the spark of romance.

I'm sure you know, she knows. Maybe that's why the sex with her is affected. Your not only doing damage to relationship. Your doing damage to her. And when you kids get old enough to know. It will be extremely damaging to them. Please, do better, be better. You started the process by saying it here. Keep up the good work. And have some faith in yourself to be better.

thank you for being positive and for the support!

Could you try to activate the sex with your wife, perhaps make it more interesting for her so she start liking it again. You are less likely to cheat if sex is good with your wife.

Here's how I see it:

Yes, your childhood likely left some scars. However, cheating is a choice. You always have the choice, and until you acknowledge it and take responsibility for your actions, you are doing a tremendous disservice to your wife and kids.

I'm not judging you, but I do think you're better than this. If it makes you feel terrible, don't do it. You could lose your wife and children. Would it be worth it then? Everyone is attracted to other people, and everyone has a choice. Please, make the right one. You and your family deserve better.

I’d say your behaviour is directly related to your younger years with abandonment. Nice to see you are able to make the connection and I vote therapy before it gets deeper and affect more areas of your life...

Why would you care if your mother left you when you were still a 1 year old child. I doubt it if you knew maternal love, or missed it either. Either way. . .it can't be an excuse for cheating. I think it's just how you need it, to satisfy your ego. I find people who were raised to adulthood with both parents around, but they still cheated in their marriage. So it could be your need to satisfy your own. Regardless of your marital situation, try a more honest evaluation of your motivations to your cheatings.

no sweety psychology explains clearly the link between 2. Actually some men in same situation who were abandoned gets seriously violent with women in reaction to what they have endured, keep in mind behaviour is mostly done unconsciously while he is able to connect, that is a huge step forward for him....

Shucks. . . umm-- Hedo, honestly huney bunch. . . I know that fact. It's just I was seeing my father's story who's been unfaithful to his wife all their marriage life. And he blames all the women in his life for being that way. For being so unstable of his feelings to his wife, who is my mother. He blamed it to his own mother, for being so unfair to him since childhood. And later on blames his wife for cheating, and all we know he blames his daughters for not being a good father or a family man as a whole. He keeps on making excuses, even now that they're separated. And reading the story makes it all unforgiving of me.

Aha--@EnYM. . . talking about getting to know you (bettah).^^ Offense. . . none taken. Rather . . .thank for sharing.

It's probably not so much the memories from being 1 (pretty non-existent) but rather growing up feeling abandoned. If his mother had died when he was one, his childhood would have been identical physically, but perhaps quite different mentally.

Not saying that justifies his behavior, just making an observation.

1 More Response

Have you talked to your wife about your sex life? Does she have any idea you've cheated, do you think? Might she be willing to grant a hall pass, so you could build trust but attain your desires?

she doesn't know I have cheated. I actually i am trying really hard to stop. I haven't done anything in a while....

i was abondoned by my mom when i was three and i saw/heard her saying that i was a mistake and that she didn't want me. she ran away and married another man. years late she came back to my life with her new husband and three kids. her husband hated me and used to tell her to say that i was her brother instead of her son and she did that. i was hurt for a long time by that.

I don't think that being abandoned by your mom is any excuse for cheating and lieing to someone. You just like doing that because you don't care enough about her.

If you feel so bad, then stop it! Why can't you help it?