Post

I Don't Know Why I Cannot Be Faithful?

I don't know why I cannot be faithful?  I mean I want to be I love my husband very much but I am the type of person who just isn't satified with one lover.  I don't leave him for them we just hook up and go our own way when were done.  I have even tried swinging with my husban thinking it would work and I would not feel so horrible but then I find myself completely jelouse of any women who go nears him and I know it is not right because I am a hypercrite.  If I don't cheat on my husband I feel traped and when I do I feel bad.  In the past when I have stopped cheating home life became unbareable and he was ready to leave me and I didn't want that so I went back to flings on the side here and there and just so everyone doen't think I am a ***** picking up ramdom men all of these guys are ex-boyfriends and they have all delt with this with me and are quite understanding about what I am dealing with and I was upfront with my husband when I married him and told him about mypast and that I have a hard time being faithful but he married me anyway but the 2 time I have told him I cheated on him he has fliped out and asked me how I could do that to him and I told him "I worned you I was like this when you married you"and he said "yes I know but I thought I would changed you because were married" I don't know but thats my story

 

cuddliekitten cuddliekitten 16-18, F 22 Responses Feb 2, 2007

Your Response

Cancel

First, your young. One of the many reasons marrying young is a bad idea is because most people need time to get things out of their system. Things like random hookups are one of them. Not that is necessarily goes away with age, but the desire gets less as it becomes less exciting with experience.

Second, some people can't be faithful. I had an ex like that. We get along fine now, I harbor no ill feelings. She was a cheater when she got with me, when she was with me, and has cheated on the guys she's been with since. I think it's in her, maybe it's in you too.

Third, if you knew you couldn't be faithful you shouldn't have married. Telling him you warned him is no excuse. If you KNEW you couldn't sleep with only him the rest of your life, you shouldn't have taken the vows. I'm not sure why you did, or why he wanted too if you told him you couldn't be faithful, but you two did. You'll likely divorce sooner or later, so maybe in the future don't say "I do" if you know you "can't".

you need to find a way to involve him.

don't feel bad if this is who you are, if it's saving your marriage then it's a good thing, if you're feeling bad about it it's a bad thing.

you're going to have to reconcile that.

is there any way to involve him, aside from the jealousy did the swinging mean that you were still getting your release, or does it have to be cheating?

if you have to go behind his back then there is no hope, if it's just that it has to be another person then a regular addition to the bedroom might be good for both of you?

I have been with the same guy on and off for 5 years. I have cheated several times and he stays around. We are not together anymore but he does still live with me. He says I act like an 18 year old wh***. It's not right to be judged by some one that isn't God. God made us who we are and we should be proud of it... I have 4 kids and nothing I've done has effected them. Keep doing what your doing. And my advice, if you break up or get a divorce do NOT do what I did and continue to let the other person live with you. Your life will only get worse....

For some reason the system shows you as under age. Can that be? Are you really that young and married?

I am the same way I'm not married though been with my bf lived together for 4 years and when i don't cheat i feel like a total *****... I feel like i can't ever stop and this is just how things are and in a way i like it i like to go out and meet new guys have sex then move on when I'm bored... Is it wrong? I have very little guilt feel bad only when I'm caught and he doesn't know a thing about it trusts me a lot... Idk like i said maybe that's just how i an

Her price is the guilt it doesn't help him to know about it. Never ever tell

I understand completely where you are coming from and I've read all these comments to your post. WTF people! Didn't your mothers ever tell you that if you didn't have something nice to say then don't say anything at all!! I don't think negative feed back was what she was looking for! Maybe an answer, and to that i have to say, there isn't an answer anybody can give you! If you truely love him and wish to say with him go for it, but don't forget what goes around will come back 3 fold. I'm still waiting for mine to swing back to me. Cuddliekitten, I am where you are just 10 years into it and the cheating hasn't stop. Unlike you though he isn't aware of it and I know it's better that way. I have my guilt from my actions but atleast i don't have to know he's heart is breaking. The rush of a new partner is what keeps me cheating and i know it. I've tried not cheating and made it for a little while but when i have I've always felt unwanted, unattractive and mostly depressed. Having a man lust after you and feeling the rush of his body against yours is something almost intoxicating. Jdog6690, I couldn't agree more! All to offen society, has made sex into a bad thing but it is our natural instinct to want it, and to have it. We are nothing but mammals although society wants us to push all those centuries of procreation aside. And as hard as we may try the truth is two humans just can not entirely mate for a life time. Best of luck to you finding a happy balance and don't forget that life's too short to focus on the negative side of life, so take what these haters say with a grain of salt.

The thing that keeps you doing this is NRE = new Relationships Energy

I dont understand why everyone goes right away saying you need to divorce???<br />
Sex is a normal human behavior such as sleeping and waking up, you can try to put your own terms<br />
but when your body is ready it will do it automaticly, sex is a response that we feel when we find someone to be desireable, The fact is that sex can just be seen as an physical exercise that some like to only rather limit them selfs to one partner but others like to play diferent partners, I really dont think that love has anything to do with it, altough many people mix them both, Love is a special feeling for one person is is hardly cheated, but sex is an activity some of us enjoy and do not mix it with love.<br />
In my opinion the only wrong is being too honest about it, he knows who u are an as long as dont ask u should not tell, Be who u are what ever that may be is better than these judgemental people that like to do it and then lie to them selfs. enjoy life today because u never know tomorrow.

I am a sex addict too, just be up front and tell him you are going to cheat. Make him a cuckold and make hubby watch.

I understand your situation, and sympathize with your anguish over it. I hope that you can either come to peace with your marriage, or start screwing and English teacher, so that your next pathetic post is at least in a language that we can understand.

thats said you blame your husband he knew? thats why he married you he wants you. you should be so lucky i have 5 kids never been married just abusive men in my life that cheated on me cause he was jeaulus i was with the kids too much i got my tubes tied filed for divorce and now work 70 hours a week to feed my kids become an escort . it will suit your life and you will get paid to ruin marriages

You sound like my wife - she was the happiest i have seen her when she was being chased by some other guys - we were separated and she came to me for love and sex more than she did when we were together - just enjoy it but if you want to stay with him don't tell him as it will turn him into a *****.

I completely understand your situation....

Cheaters are selfish - they want the best of both worlds. If you cannot be satisfied with one person - you owe it to that person to let them go while you live however you want. You have to stop cheating.

I know you are telling him you cheated because you still want to be honest with him, you two are married afterall. For the hippocracy of your situation, maybe you two should consider a divorce. You two don't seem to be on the same level at all. Either get a divorce, have you and you're husband experiment with various toys, lubes, etc to curve your appetite for cheating, or overcome your jealousy so that he can do what you do. You both are supposed to be equal, no? In the end I feel that neither you nor your husband will be happy, from the information I have gathered so far.

You do have a problem but it isn't only that you are untrue it also seems that you enjoy hurting him by telling him that you do this. My guess is that it is a form of attention for you and you get some kind of thrill from it. What you really need to do is grow up. You are just to young to understand what your actions will cause in the long run. So start taking responsibility for your self, grow up and life will be good to you and yours.

LET HIM GO SO HE CAN BE WITH A WOMAN THAT WILL RESPECT,LOVE AND CARE FOR HIM--THE WAY HE DESERVES TO BE! YOU ARE A HIPPOCRATE! DIVORCE HIM SO HE HAS A CHANCE AT HAPPILY EVER AFTER WITH SOMEONE WHO CLEARLY IS NOT YOU. THEN, YOU CAN GO JOIN A SWINGERS GROUP AND BE WITH THOSE PEOPLE!

Sorry to break the news but you are a loser !! Also i think you need to go back to school because you cannot spell to save your life!!!...

If you can't control your cheating you could possibly be a sex addict. Sex addiction isn't discussed very much in our society, but it definitely is a problem. You should check out some books on it, it could change your life.

Leave your husband. You both obviously got married too soon. If you don't, you'll never be able to stop cheating. Of course, if you are the person who will cheat either way, that's different...marry me. lol

You HAVE to be kidding! What the hell did you get married for in the first place? You and he are off the train track and need professional help.<br />
Second advice? Both of you walk, no, RUN away from each other. You, quit thinking with your sex organs. Him? wise up and grow up before you try marriage again!