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No Sex In This Marriage

Well, it all just crazy life has drain the sex emotion out of us do to stress, family, work, we feel very lucky to still be togather after all the changes we have been through, now I have fibro diease, that lead to peridonal diease, that was started from depression just going to work is about as much as I can do sex is not at the top of the list its been over a year.
deannzzee deannzzee 41-45, F 6 Responses Mar 8, 2011

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I come here infrequently so forgive the delay in replies. At this point I am convinced we will never talk about any issues we have. She doesn't want to and I am tired of bringing things up. What do I do? I don't know I chose to go on, and check this place in the dark depths of night. I wish for death, but i can't kill myself for the fear of being judged. I wish for death only because, I love this woman to pieces, and I can't bear to hurt her by leaving her. She is too fragile and broken herself, which is why she continues to break me. I wish for a quite and long, long sleep at times when all this becomes too much. I don't really have any hopes of the situation improving. We are students and marriage counselors are something we cannot afford. Even if we could, she wouldn't talk so that would be a waste. May be the best thing to do would be to end my life and her misery. But I don't want to be a quitter either, although that is what I've pretty much done with her. I live on in a hollow shell of a body, my soul feels like its catatonic, paralyzed. But I can't leave her.

I feel very sad for you and your situation. I am older and I guess this is not such an unsual situation. But you have your whole life ahead of you. This woman is not doing the right thing by you. For goodness sake think very carefully about your situation. Love comes in many ways and we can certainly love more than one person. Please think about this and don't continue allowing your life to be ruined. Believe me, when you reach your 50's please don't give yourself reason to look back and ask 'what if?'

@Dejavu I am pretty much in the exact same situation here. Well not exactly but I am a sexual person, very much so. And my wife isn't and she stopped talking about it sometime back, every time I tried to initiate a talk, she would cut it off on some pretext with a promise of resuming it later. The resuming never happened. Long story short, we are happy in our marriage but completely sexless. I have been faithful only because I can't bear to hurt her on this. But every time i think about it, it makes me angry - at her, at myself ; and frustrated. A good VV@nk (retarded filters here forced me to use this lingo :() usually solves this and i return to my ground state. I am convinced that at this point I am incapable of having sex, largely cos when i think about having sex, I think about her and when i think about the boring sad thing we called sex was had when we did have it, it just bores me, and repulses me to a degree. My own former sex life has become my aversion therapy. I have chosen to live with my affliction because our love still remains and because I have lost hopes of ever having a decent sexual relationship with anybody. The occasional urges are satisfied by wanking, so see if that hleps you. If it makes it any better I am in my late 20s and our marriage is 4 months old although we've been dating for 6.5 years and living together for 2.5. The relationship started going sexless about 2.5 years back when we were 24, reaching the point it has reached today. Where we barely kiss each other now...even pecks have become rare. In the 4 months since we got married, we even stopped pecking on cheeks when I left for work (or vice versa, if she left before me)

leave your husband and go get a good root

Wow, I hope everything else is ok, nine years is a long time

Well at least you have some pretty valid reasons for no sex. My husband decided 9 years ago that he wasn't able to have sex with me anymore and did not want to discuss it. Any time I attempted to talk about the issue he just told me he did not want to discuss it. I have no idea if he is seeing someone or if he legitimately is unable to have sex. What a life. We are in our 50's but of course 9 years ago in 40's. I am a very sexual person and this is certainly frustrating. There is no intimacy at all. What does anyone think about my predicament and if there is anything you think I could do to somehow remedy this.