Yes, I Choose To Be Faithful, But Shouldn't I Be Choosing Divorce?

This is the hardest thing I have ever done, staying this this marriage. It's not only lacking sex, it's lacking companionship, spiritual connection, emotional connection - a CONNECTION.

He's a good man, really. A nice man. But I'm so lonely.
Amy100co Amy100co
41-45, F
4 Responses Aug 24, 2012

I am in the same boat as you. My husband and i have no connection except our 2 children. I am no longer in love with me. I have debated over and over in my head whether or not we should divorce but I cannot justify breaking up our family. However, I am in need of a close connection. I am very lonely in this marriage.

The worst kind of loneliness in my opinion.

I know what you mean. I'm seriously thinking about divorce. We have cyclical sex. It's good for a while, a connection, then months of nada. I love him and don't want to hurt him, but I can't live like this any more. Why do you stay?

Hello Amy<br />
<br />
It is hard choosing to remain in a loveless, sexless marriage. I am married to a really good man, he's popular at work, he shares chores in the house, but there is little or no conversation, companionship, let alone sex or affection.<br />
<br />
I am a Catholic and believe in the vows we made, but after going to counselling twice, I know that what I have is not what I signed up for. I wish I could just quietly go away somewhere but finances don't permit two households, or apartmentholds and utility <br />
bills.<br />
<br />
It is really no comfort knowing you are not alone, that you want the man you married so badly and his indifference is insufferable. It is awful knowing you repulse your husband so much. Just last night I was crying my eyes out into a teatowel and he took it and put it into a bucket with bleach. I wish my life was over truly I do, but I will pray for both of us, amy, that we find a way out somehow.<br />

The bucket of bleach is a stunner. I'm Catholic as well. Please talk and figure out if things can change. If not and life is unbearable, annulment is a possibility. The church will very often erase all traces of a marriage, if you go through the process. Stop worrying about what other people think. If the church will provide you with an annulment, that is what truly matters. Other people do not. They don't know what you have been going through. Just tell those other people, "Judge not...."

Get the divorce, and only get annulment if you plan to marry again into the church. I don't see the point of annulments. Why not call it a divorce cuz that is what it is.

Get the annulment ASAP. Then, if you find someone worth marrying, you can get married in the church without any hassles or delays.-without waiting for months on end for the process to complete. Divorce and annulment are not alike. Divorce is a legal matter, and the record of both marriage and divorce remain intact. Annulment in the church is the obliteration of the marriage - it never happened in the eyes of the church,. Quite a difference, I'd say.