My Family...

Ok, so here it goes... My mother and father were drug addicts, my mother a prostitute and my father her pimp.  He use to beat her, and steal our food stamps and sell them for drugs.  I never really new him, b/c by the time I was 18 months he was gone.  Back in prison, which is where he spent most of his life.  After he was gone, my mother met my stepfather... They use to do coke on the coffee table in the living room in front of me and my sister, they said it was their Allergy medicine imagine my fear when I would get sick and my mother would tell me it was just my allergies acting up, i use to be petrified I would hv to snort that stuff up my nose.. They stopped doing coke after we moved from MA, my mom had run out of foster homes for us in MA so we moved to AZ after my stepfather threw my sister across the room and broke her arm, we were in a hurry to leave. 

We moved to AZ for about 6 months but then decided to move to NY, my stepfathers mother had died and left him the bulk of her estate, so with the money we bought land in upstate NY and began to build our house.  We ran out of money tho, so it was a Cellar house built into the side of a hill, with a metal roof... We were persecuted by the kids in town b/c of it.  But then when my stepfather and Uncle Mark got caught growing Fields of pot between our houses and we were raided, the kids really loved that... And then my mother had a nervous breakdown b/c to finish our cellar house she had to borrow money from her parents, and they took out a lien on our house my mother had to make weekly payments to them, well my stepfather wasn't working (no surprise there) so my mother told her parents hey can I pay double next week?  Money is tight and I hv to buy groceries, they told her no, you don't pay this week, then **** you.  So she stopped paying them and the foreclosed on our house. 

My mother had a nervous breakdown, me and my sister found her in her room, O D-ing on her pills, and found her note.  We tried to wake her but she wouldn't wake up, but then she did, long enough to knock my sister, who was on top of her off and to tell us to get the **** out of her room... SO we decide we are going to wait up for our stepfather, b/c we knew not one person to call for help, we lived on a dead end dirt road in the middle of the woods, so there was no one we could go to for help either.. My stepfather came home saw us on the couch, and thought we were having a slumber party, so he finds my mother, reads her note, checks to make sure she is still breathing and hides all of her pills from her.  We woke up to my mother attacking my stepfather for her pills, he refuses to give them bk, but finally does, and leaves her and us, just walks out of the house.  Me and my sister just sit and wait not sure what to do, my mother screams at us to get the hell out of the house and so I jump up and RUN.... My sister stayed, she knew we would be leaving that day for a long time.  My mother got up and went to her closet and grabbed a shot gun and loaded it.  She walked into my sisters room, my sister had her bk to her, and tapped her on the bk with the gun, my sister turned around, and my mother screamed at her " I TOLD YOU GET THE **** OUT OF THIS HOUSE OR I WILL KILL YOU"  My sister ran out of the house, but stopped at the driveway and turned around to go bk.. My mother was hanging out the window with the gun and told her again to leave or she would shot.  So my sister left.  My stepfather decided even tho she was in a houseful of guns and pills that we would leave for the day to give her time to cool off, but that only managed to make her worse.  She took more and more of her pills, and began to call her parents and threaten them, that she was gonna kill them.  They demanded to know where we were and she told them she killed all of us and buried us in the swamp behind our house.  My grandparents called the cops and the stand off began.

It was an all day thing, my mother held the cops at bay with her shotguns, she shot at them, but they never returned fire... The barricaded the road and waited for her to come out.  She did, she was out of pills and was going to go get a refill, so she stumbled out of the house, with her gun, purse and pill bottle came around the side of the house and meet a group of police officers, she thought she could get to her car before they got to her so she ran for it, but dropped her pill bottle, she stopped to get it and they tackled her.  By the time we got there they had been searching for our bodies for a few hours...  My mom got out of the mental hospital, but that was the first trip of many. My sister decided she no longer wanted to live with us and left me there.. I was about 9, my mother gave up her rights to my sister, my sister was almost 11.  I never saw her again... Then it was just me to bear the brunt of the chaos that was our lives.

At about 12 my stepfather began molesting me... I had been molested by other people in foster homes, but for him to do it, it broke my soul, and i grew angry...I became a problem child for them, i was no longer quite, i began to act out, lash out, and by 15 my home life was so violent, i decided i was going to kill myself, but first I was going to kill them..My mother took me to the doctor after a particularly bad fight between us, she swore I was pregnant, b/c I was sick, I told her I wanted to die and I hated her.  She put a butcher knife up to my throat and told me she would help me die if i was so miserable.  We became physical and then she took me to the doctor for a pregnancy test.  He told her I was NOT pregnant but he was admitting me to the Psychiatric hospital b/c i told him I wanted to die and I was going to kill my parents.  it was the best thing anyone ever did for me.  I got to the hospital and everything came out and they took me from my parents.

Because the molestation happened in NY they could not prosecute him in NC for it.  But they never gave me bk to them.  My mother never believed me and our relationship disintegrated even more...

I don't think i can write anymore about this right now... it is hard... And alot more happened after that...
angrymom23 angrymom23
31-35, F
Jul 22, 2010