Disguised Fluff Balls

Getting drunk is something that doesn't happen often with me. Actually- I think in a years my grand total of times being inebriated is something like 2-3 times.

For those few times that I do look to the bottle I've somehow always manage to pull off one stunt that makes those who know me shake their head and wonder how I'm even still alive. Falling off of roofs, cutting the inside of my lip and convincing everyone that my insides are melting rather than my lip bleeding. This is by no means saying that I am a ridiculous drunk I just seems like I have ridiculous drinking friends who only like to do so on roofs that are much too difficult for short people to access.

For this particular story was out at the pub drinking, avoiding high places. We conclude the night and everyone goes their own direction. Arriving home I get a phone call from my little sister where she too is drunk. We start babbling incoherently to each other but for whatever the reason I look up to my ceiling where I notice something dark just chilling way up there. Instantly my mind wonders to think that it is a spider.

Still on the phone at this point I tell my sister that I'm going to get this sucker. There is no way— drunken or sober— that I'm leaving an 8 legged freak to roam my house. He looked like a big sucker too!

The apartment is an old Victorian home so sound travels really well in this place, the ceilings are really high making it difficult to reach said bug on said ceiling. Thinking that I was a smooth criminal, I climbed up on one of my dressers— still on the phone yammering away— and next thing I know I somehow loose my footing and land on my back on the floor, staring up at the mocking target.

The very first thing out of my mouth was "Shhh" despite the fact that it was my skinny *** that made that loud noise and the whole household probably heard every second of it... especially at 3 am.

While lying there, cringing at my noisiness, I realized that the spider that I was so eager to get happened to be a fluff ball somehow stuck up there and all I needed to do was sweep the cobwebs when the alcohol leaves the system.

I guess that would be my biggest 'Shhh' moment while drunk but it has happened since although on smaller, less dramatic degrees.

Linxer Linxer
31-35, F
4 Responses Nov 22, 2010

AHAHA! That is the best way of putting it "problem is beer turn me from a meek and mild Dr Jekyll to a Peter Griffen" Yep...

C'MERE..... (stagger stagger stagger....) Let's NOT be grown up and sensible about this drinking..... OK getting a bit blotto and talking to this and that is a bit OTT but the problem is beer turn me from a meek and mild Dr Jekyll to a Peter Griffen....nnnnneeeehhhhhheeeee

I know quite a few people who have basically given up the extreme drinking ways. Getting drunk was fun when first turning legal age (and for some long before) However I think a beer here or there is far more effective than getting plastered and bumping into things.

me too actualy ,i drink to get drunk anymore ,now that im older and busy with life.