Open Adoption

i wanted to share this story with other people who had to make a decision about thier grandchildren as i have, Angel was born on december 21, 2010, he was the most perfect beautiful little boy in the whole world, his mother had problems and couldn't care for him, she ask me to take him in, how could i not! i wanted to raise my grandson, and decided to adopt him, i enjoyed having my grandson in my home more than life itself, after 2 years i got the feeling that i shouldn't be his mommy, i wanted to be his nana! i became very emoitional as i was going through the thought of giving him up for adoption, he was only 5 months old when he came to live with me, i just couldn't tell anyone about it, until one day i called a significant person in the adoption process that i thought could help me process this matter in my heart, it was so hard to do, but may just be the best thing i ever did for my grandson, he was adopted on march 31, 2012, and went to live with his new family, i still cry over him, but i been blessed with an open adoption and with a very caring and deserving young woman who has a son of her own, angel has a mommy and a brother, its been almost 5 months since this happened, i've only seen him about 6 or 7 times since he left, and i really miss him, i know its hard on everyone involved so i try to let him get used to his new family and just text his mommy to see how he is, she sends pictures which makes me know that he is doing great becuz he always has a smile on his face from ear to ear, i want her to know how much it means to me that my grandson has her and her son, i just don't know how to be a grandma, for the reason that i had to be his mommy for so long, does anyone have any ideas? stuff i can do that nanas do best? i have other grandchildren too, and i feel like i have not been the best grandma to them