Life Changes Part 15Time was passing and Jessie was growing up fast. Jessie's 12th birthday had come and gone and was now fast approaching 13. The topic among her friends was turning more and more to boys. While Jessie enjoyed the conversation, she was a little concerned that she started life as a boy and this caused her confusion. As she was still receiving therapy, she decided she'd talk with her lady psychiatrist.
The psychiatrist explained.
"Jessie, you've been taking female hormones at the age most girls start puberty. There are a number of effects these have on you. Firstly, there is the physical or in other words how you look. These include keeping your skin soft, making your hair grow faster making your face feminine and of course a bust line." At this Jessie blushed.
"The second effect is psychological or if you like how the brain is all wired up. Every person is created female and then through natural processes your body develops to stay female or become male depending on certain enzymes and hormones. These will alter the physical and mental state of the foetus. At puberty there is rush of new hormones as certain organs become mature, testes in a boy and ovaries in a girl. The testes in a boy produce high amounts of testosterone, the male hormone whilst in girls it is mainly oestrogen. Of course girls and boys produce small amounts of the opposite hormone to their anatomical sex. This rush of hormones besides changing the physical state, as I mentioned, also rewires the brain even more to prepare for adulthood. Your brain is becoming female more than already it was, perhaps a lot more. The last effect is with emotions but also linked to the psychological changes. These affect how we feel for example happy or sad, wanting to laugh or cry. In girls, puberty also sometimes makes them want to cry for no obvious reason. I know I did at your age. It's all a part of growing up."
"Now to answer your question, how you feel about boys and girls and who you are attracted to is thought to be prewired before birth but is also affected by all those hormones. There are many who prefer their same gender for one reason or another and that's OK. You're unique and an individual Jessie. There is no right or wrong. If you like boys, that's OK .If you like girls, that's also OK. The same with liking them both is also OK. Whatever feels right to you is OK. Try not to be influenced that because you are a girl you must like boys."
Jessie felt relieved at this reassurance.
"I do like boys" Jessie said.
"That's perfectly OK" said the psychiatrist.
"I just felt that it would be awkward because I once was a boy" said Jessie.
"Well you're a girl and a pretty one at that now. Don't worry about the past."
Jessie blushed again at being called pretty, playing with her long blonde hair. The psychiatrist watched Jessie for little while, noting her gestures. They were all feminine, there was no doubt, and the psychiatrist was pleased at Jessie's progress. She was becoming a delightful young lady. There was no better teacher than being around girls her own age.
Jessie returned home. Angie was home, so she went up to her sister's room. Angie was teaching Jessie the finer points of doing her make up. She enjoyed experimenting with her older sister's assistance. She had missed much of what a little girl learns when they begin to play with make up. Also Angie taught other things that a younger girl might do. In the two years since she had awoken from her coma to find her life irrevocably changed, she had learnt much. She had had somewhat of a head start being at ease playing girl's games with her friend Carrie.
Getting ready for bed that night, her mother commented that she needed to get her hair trimmed. It was almost at her waist now, long, thick and golden. Jessie had a thing about her hair and having it waist length was her goal.
"Soon mum, soon" was Jessie's response as she got her nightie on. She was totally at ease being a girl now. The talk with psychiatrist had also reassured her that she could be herself and not to follow others expectations.