Online Activity With Someone Not Your Spouse

To me anything that involves the emotional engery ment for your spouse is cheating.  It becomes abuse when the one doing the cheating blames you for the bad choices and behaviors they have decided to participate in.

My husband more than once has become involved with other women on the internet.  He calls it a game.  They talke dirty to each other and then he strarts getting the women to send him nude photos of themselves.

He has a pattern.  He doesn't think so but after 14 years of marriage I've learned when he is getting in over his head.  The last time he had one of these "friends" he thought he was in love with her.  After three weeks of talking to her on the internet.  He didn't and still doesn't think he was cheating.

We hardley ever have sex and he ********** to **** more than he touches me.  Yet, he says he loves me.  I feel like he is just waiting for our daughter to get grown and then he can leave.

Nothing he does anymore surprises me.  I'm just to the point to where I know there is nothing I can do to stop his destructive behavior.


Grits4life Grits4life
46-50, F
3 Responses Jul 24, 2008

I have never ventured out, just because I don't want to lose the time with my SO and our daughter. Time spent with another person if time I don't have invested in them, so I would view on-line chatting as cheating. It is taking away from an already strained relationship. How old is your daughter? That was what got me to stick it out several years ago when we were separated. Our daughter continued to live with me during the separation, and my job required me to travel frequently so I knew there would be no way I could have custody without causing a major disruption in our daughters life. Call me selfish, but I was willing to put up with less-than-ideal circumstances in order to keep my family together. I don't know what your circumstances are, but from your other stories, it seems like your options are dwindling. I wish you the best.

I am sorry, this is very hurtful. I myself caught my dad doing such to my mother... turned out he actually worked with one of the women, the others were just ppl he found in a chat room.. I was mortified.. it changed how I saw my father for the rest of my life. We were never the same.

Virtual relationships are NOT relationships! If they never get to 3D it is not cheating. That is like saying looking at photos of someone else's trip to France is the same as taking the trip! There is just no comparison when it comes to actual versus virtual! Trying to control him and his every move might not be the best way to get him to find you more arousing in fact I would think if a man did that to me I would lose all interest in him! Being controlled or even for someone to attempt to control me does not evoke feelings of love and sexual desire!