I Find

Most of my current education is legal.  I find myself in many conversations where I know the answer, can cite the legal facts and their source, but will remain tight lipped (which is inkeeping with the law, due to the fact have not been hired as a lawyer by the parties of that conversation) 

Often, If I am in the presence of someone I know will not back down or is extremely arrogant and not open to education, I will simply smile and not say anything rather than thrown knowledge at a brick wall.

I, when younger, I feared intimidating or isolating people and would pretend often that what they were telling me, i had heard for the first time.

Most of it is low self-esteem.  I am book educated.  My areas are literature and law, i cite them and therefore always like to be completely sure that I am applying them perfectly and completely and always like to second check things, knowing that I do know it but  arguing that it could not be it, as it would have not come so easily to my mind.

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5 Responses Dec 3, 2008

It's always hard deciding whether or not to show someone how smart you are because depending on who you're with they could take it as you being arrogant. What if the person you're talking to doesn't know what your saying then you look stupid. Which is why we humans tend to censor ourselves...because we fear being judged the wrong way.

I've done it ... but I'm trying really effen hard to stop it. Why should we have to hide our knowledge? If we don't know the answer we're obviously stupid girls. If we DO know the answers we're smart-*** ******* or worse. Just look at the fact that only us women would say this.... (I'll bet the people who contribute/comment are overwhelmingly women). Guys don't have to do this.<br />
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(or is it that guys just never know the answer anyway....?_

Oh Flutter - I feel you. I do the same thing, mostly to men that I work with. I will know the answer, but am constantly challenged because I am blond and a woman. It hurts sometimes, and sometimes I just let them think they are right ... until they figure out that they were wrong and I was right. <br />
I secretly love that -- because I am good at what I do -- and I really wish that I had more confidence to show it all the time : )

Hi again<br />
I find that when, someone has commented about something, and you don't agree or in your case the fact are not right. And I actually hear myself saying, "I don't think so". You be surprise to see that they do want to hear your point of view or opinion.<br />
Yes, low self-esteem is fear of all of the waysof how people view you, but they're also people who listen, have patience, and also people with great compassion. Because they really care.<br />
Just speak your truth!! You need to be heard!!

I don't think you should worry about others that are intimidated by your intelligence. That is something I am strongly against. My husband does that, he is also book-smart and he keeps all of his knowledge to himself and pretty much does the same thing you do. He does it all to fit in with the people around our neighborhood.<br />
I don't like when he does it because he has a lot to offer people. You do, too, and just because it may not seem like they want to learn, they do. Some people may be off by it because they felt like they knew it all but they still want to learn and they'll warm up to you. Please, do me that favor and don't hide your intelligence.