A New Kind Of Craving

I see love in movies, I hear love in songs, I feel love in dreams.
I think that I have conditioned myself to take my want for love OVER THE TOP.  I want a head-over-heels love that is stronger than an oceans wave but gentle as the creatures in it.  I want to be wanted and desired on any and all levels.  Happily, Angrily, Sadly, Romantically, Intimately... Someone who counts on me and fights with me and makes an effort for me.  Someone to be serious and playful... Someone to share a bond with that they have with NO ONE else.  I have watched movie after movie and listened to song after song about ideal relationships and success in love, and I want to experience it!  I'm ready to be in love.  With one person and one person only.
However, I am of course aware that "what happens in movies.....only happens in movies."  I get it, I'm not dumb.  The perfect love is nonexistent.  But if you ask me, what love needs to be perfect when your happy?  Nothing is more perfect than a lover who makes you happy.  I believe a true love is possible.
Where to find it?  I'm not sure.  I have conditioned myself at such a standard that it seems my wishes are "out of this world".  I have been taught not to listen to the things males will say because they always have a motive.  I was taught not to be alone with them at their house because they could try something.  I always knew not to get too serious about anyone because we're young and it won't last.  Obviously guys are highly incapable of being in a committed relationship without messing up or running away or getting bored.
BUT let me say soemthing...
I know very well that not all of that is true.  I know you are people with hearts and feelings and you need to feel loved too.  It's true that you really can love a crazy love for that girl you've got.  I get it!

But let me say this as well....  A girl like me, with the will and ready to give you an intense and unpredictable, but sound and steady love, WILL NOT make it the first thing you see about her.  Before I am ever ready to experience a love like that, you'd better believe that I am gonna make you sweat.  I will not start all conversations, make all the plans, pick all the movies, give all the compliments.  I will not show you I'm interested until you break the ice.  When you tread the water then I will go swimming.  It's the way I'm wired, feisty and demanding.  But I'm loyal and loving.  Waiting and learning about a person is the way to find a REAL and STRONG, steady romance that your body BEGS AND BEGS for those nights alone.

And if your STILL unsure about the reward of the effort, ask yourself things about her.  How does she act at home? At a party?  Can she take a joke or make one? Is she a steady person, got a job? Is she closed up like a diary or open like a book? Does she wait on you or is she willing to help?  Does she have good relationships with her parents, her friends...your friends? Think she's got a future? ....Who is she?
Get the answers.  
CarlyOnline CarlyOnline
18-21, F
2 Responses Mar 28, 2012

I had something close to true love once. At least i think I did lmao Cant really be sure, since it ended, but it was good. I never fought with her or argued with her. Got along with her friends, helped her through the good times and bad times, and god we never had sex but what we did do was amazing lmao... Then she just kinda changed :I and dumped me. Lol I guess that just kind of happens sometimes. True love does exist though. Its just really, really, REALLY hard to find :-)

I can only sympathize and nod :)
You're remarkably bright! (double meaning intended)

Thank you, I'm glad someone see's my side :-)