I know the reason why i am so sad and depressed is all my fault. From all the mistakes I've made, to all the things I've done, to all the things I've said. They all screwed up my life. I havent been happy in so very long. I don't know when was the last time I actually smiled without having to fake it. I think that I am too afraid to be happy because I forgot what it felt like, maybe its because I am not even trying to better myself.