Wish I Could Break Through...

My 18 year old son refuses to talk to me, or even acknowledge me. Apparently he's really angry at me for the pain he's experienced in his life... some caused by himself... some caused by others... and some was... well... just life. I just wish I could understand what he's thinking and feeling... so I could somehow help him to get his spirits up again. It is so sad to see him so seemingly depressed.
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26-30
5 Responses Aug 13, 2010

oh. my. goodness. You've LIVED my LIFE! I know this is a rather dated story now. I hope the lines of communication opened for you? Please, PLEASE tell me this parenting pain has a happy ending!! <br />
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Dratted TEENS!

Hi you...I know what you mean about wanting to help. This is Jaylene sweetness. I have missed you. Please write.

Btw: EP won't let me message you for some reason, so...<br />
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I'm really sorry about all of this.<br />
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I can't even imagine what you must be going through but don't lose faith.<br />
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Look, the fact that you're still asking after him, calling him up, trying to reach out to him all clicks with him.<br />
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I'm sure that when he wants to really open up about what's eating him on the inside you will be who he turns to...don't lose faith and don't lose heart.<br />
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Just keep on being his father, as hard as it is watching him go through all of this.

I don't think he's trying to shut you out at all.<br />
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I never like my parents to see the ugly side of me. It's because I lash out so much from all the confusion, pain and anger. I also have a large guilt complex, especially when it concerns the people I love; I feel guilty for letting them share my burden, even though keeping them out hurts even more. But I'd rather I didn't let them know the things I was going through because they've done a lot for me and I don't want to feel like a burden...<br />
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So perhaps that might be why your son refuses to talk to you. Maybe he's got a big guilt complex about wanting to spill his worries to you, somebody he loves and holds in high regard.<br />
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I can't imagine what he must be thinking or even going through, but let me tell you that he does love and appreciate you trying to break down the walls to get into his life.<br />
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You're an amazing father. I wish there were more men like you.

We can never truly know what another person is thinking or feeling .. especially a child of 18.<br />
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Emotions are healthy .. whether they are tears of joy or sadness ... it is always better to acknowledge them, rather than stuff them down inside of us.<br />
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My son had a rough time growing up for many reasons and I too wanted to help him lead a happy life ... and tried everything I could think of to show him my love and concern ... He lashed out at me and was angry many times. There came a time I stopped trying .. and he found his own way ... He told he although he appreciated my help and concern that it was time for him to take care of his life ... and although I meant well, he was the one that had to do it .. not me ..<br />
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This is just my story .. each child is different.<br />
The time will come when he will be able to handle life ...<br />
For the time being ... be as you feel to be .. supportive and loving ...<br />
He will remember and he will someday tell you "thank you for loving me" ..