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My Husband Crossdresses

About a year ago I came home unexpectedly from work and caught my husband in my clothes. At first I was shocked then angry to see him in one of my favourite dresses and in my undies. I said why are you doing this are you gay? He was embarressed and seemed to be scared of me and ensured me he wasn't gay that my clothes looked so pretty that he couldn't resist putting them on and that they "turned him on". He said he would take them off and not do it again. Over the next few weeks I suspected he was wearing my things again but wasn't sure. I set a trap by arrangeing my dresses and lingerie a certain way then went out for the day on a weekend leaving him home alone and came home to find they were disturbed. When confronted he addmitted it and asked to be allowed to wear some of my clothes sometimes. I agreed to allow him to crossdress once a month to satisify his urges which seemed to be sexual as long as he didnt wear my newest dresses. He would spend one Sunday a month in my dresses and lingerie. I found he was still crossdressing more than that behind my back. I didn't like the sneakyness of that and quite liked the attention he gave me when he was crossdressed so allowed him to crossdress once a week normally on a Sunday. At least he was only wearing what I allowed him to and he was very quite nice to me while crossdressed, I still didn't like the crossdressing though, and it is mostly about him and his fettish. Reading these pages about crossdressers I find they are generally subserviant and gentle and like to show their "femminine side" and be called sissies. I dont like the diviant sex side of it but that's men I suppose. I like the idea of sissy maids and intend to try to make my husband one. Do you crossdressers think this will work? read about my plans in : I want to be my wife's sissy maid > I want to make my husband a sissy maid
Annette27 Annette27 26-30, F 47 Responses Feb 16, 2011

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If you want a sissy maid then let him become that perfect servant for you, and he's not going to change and one day not want to wear lace, so let him and spank him and order him around and have fun with it.

should he put a collar on you, and put you in a pen, because you dress sloppy, and no longer try to please him as much as his dog would? are you a lesbian because you wear jeans and sweat shirt, and no longer dress for him? when is the last time you wore the clothes that he wants to feel on you, or are they for special occasions(not for him)? todays women are so unfeminine, and un lady like. everyone says tell her what is on your mind, but do they consider how many women cant keep their mouth shut, its only personal if it concerns them.

Sound like me, I just love to tease and humiliate my sissy. They think by dressing up like us they will feel the same as girls do. They will never feel the same as we do no mater how much they think they look like us.

He would probably enjoy it very much and go to great lengths to please you. Don't be angry with him, let him be the girl his spirit is and let the whole thing develope into something beautiful.

to what length do you plan to go? Some would be mean and take it to a level of punishment.

I believe that having your husband become your personal sissy maid will work Annette. I also think that in order for this to work; he will need to be attentive to what brings you happiness and not just on what he is wanting to happen through this experience. Annette, I hope sharing my thoughts; help both of you in what is being considered.

Your husband will greatly appreciate this.....

Yes i do think it will work.

I am 70 and have been crossdressing on and off since I was a teenager, but have always hidden it from my wife of nearly 30 years until last year. We have always had a good sex life using fantasy to enhance it. In the last couple of years, because of medications I take, I have lost the ability to sustain erections. I found that wearing maid dresses and 'serving' my wife's needs with oral sex helped me to satisfy her, and gave me a substitute sexy persona where I was able to dress up with her knowledge and approval. However I now like to dress in more conventional women's clothing and would like to do it all the time. She supports me in this but has asked me to do it while she is out of the house. I see this as an ongoing dialogue between us. and using forums like this an aid in helping myself and her to , hopefully, come to terms with this need I have. I would like to here or meet with any men like myself who have had similar experiences .

Janurary 27 2013

Yes I'm in a similar situation. My meds make it difficult to get an erection. But I still get satisfaction from wearing girly things. I don't wear my wife's clothes, but have my own little wardrobe. I've only been out and about as a woman once or twice, but as it upsets my wife I don't do that anymore. I would like to wear feminine things all day, but we have agreed to compromise on that. I suppose if I looked more feminine it wouldn't be so embarrassing for her, but I have quite a masculine appearance. Yes I enjoy coming to EP and reading about how other people cope with these feelings.

Like you I also have a small wardrobe of dresses, skirts, tops and undies. I always wear pretty panties under my male clothes, sometimes I will also have stockings and suspenders on, also tights. My wife is a similar size to me on top and we both have the same shoe size so I do also wear her clothes and foot wear though not her panties and bras.
I get great pleasure looking at and buying my fem clothes both on line and in store, but haven't yet got the nerve to try stuff on in stores, though I would love to.
some times if I'm alone at night I will dress and go for a walk in the dark. I love the feeling of a dress or skirt swishing round my legs as I walk along in high heels trying to look as feminine as possible as I pass the occasional pedestrian
and cars pass by catching me in their headlights. My stomach flutters and I feel truly alive as walk along with all my senses on full alert.
As of yet I haven't gone the whole way and acquired a wig and false boobs, though I do intend to. I do experiment with makeup and look for advice on line on what to buy and how to apply it.
I would like to meet other cross dressers perhaps at social functions or to just go out together for coffee and a chat and a chance to share experiences and ideas

Make sure he pleasures you every time he wears your clothes. You need to get something out of his fetish too. You owe it to yourself to have some fun, then let him wear the clothes. My bobby always pleasures me first, then I let him do himself in front of me, I know that after hes got off, he doesn't have as much drive, but I make him keep his dress on all the time afterwards.

yes jenny i agree. a woman should always be pleasured first.

That's a good point, jennylee. I completely agree.

My wife makes love to me while wearing sleeveless tee shirts, men's briefs, and a ******* inside her briefs while I wear silky nighties and panties. She has me suck her ******* when she sticks it through her men's underpants, and has me lie on my stomach so she can make love to me like a man. I love our mutual crossdressing.

My first wife used to peg me too. ..Even had me put on panties and slips and ********** while she watched with her vibrator.Miss her...;-/

My wife buys clothing for me. She enjoys shopping and the empowerment it gives her to encourage me to cross dress. I am more respectful to her as a person.

You need to experience the feeling of buying your own clothes, If I was your wife, I'd make you buy them just to humiliate you in front of everyone!

Hi folks I am a crossdresser. I love to crossdress and my wife supports me for the most part but when we are having fun in bed at night I told her one night that I wanted her to stick her ***** up in me or make me suck on it she said i was gay im like no im not i just want to spice up our love life. I love to dress as much as possible my wife does my nails and make up for me i dress at home but I want to take it out in public I love the maid sissy scene so it makes thing fun but she refuses to use her ****** on me it scares her what shall I do?

Since your wife is supportive with your crossdressing, even doing your makeup and nails, go with it and enjoy. Maybe in time your wife will come around and be open to trying using a ***** on you, but just give her time.

He would love to be able to do something while he is dressed up. So, making him your maid allows him to feel somewhat accepted by you and gives him the chance to do something more than just sit around. All you have to do is buy him the outfit and tell him if he is going to continue to dress up you might as well get something out of it. It's logical. Just make sure you communicate with him your expectations so neither one of you are surprised.

Put him in a chastity belt and keep the key

He would love being your sissy maid. You might find he is more submissive in this role. For some reason ,as in the case with my husband they are turned on when you belittle them and insult them as i found out by accident. My husband has a slender body and hairless and when i came home early once and caught him in bra and panties i thought he looked like a *** and told him so. That turns him on so i let him. He is more a girlfriend than a husband and i call him my *** husband. More so now as he sleeps in silky long nightgowns every night:)

He sounds like he is getting what he wants Deb, make sure you are getting what you want. I took things too far and now have to start again if I can find someone.

I think that your husband would enjoy being your sissy maid. I am a sissy maid and enjoy wearing my maids uniform and doing whatever duties my wife wants me to do.

I love it when my husband becomes my girlfriend. She is my best friend and is an every day part of my life I find my self telling her things that I would not or could not tell her when she is my hubby. I know it sounds straing and it kind of is but it has really made for a wounderful almost perfec marrage. I have found that the things that I tell him when he is in his dressed as a woman the things I could not tell him other wise have helped to relieve stress between us if you will. I love my husband/ girlfriend very much. we have been married 8 years but together for 15 and I could not imagin my life with out him and her in it.

You sound exactly like my wife, Daniell. We love sharing the feminine together and for us it has made for a wonderful marrage.

Why don't you encourage him to get his own clothes!<br />
I crossdress just about every day, but I wouldn't ever dream of wearing my wife's. Only if I'm invited to try something on! <br />
Why be so controlling anyway? <br />
People crossdress because they need to express something which our modern society would rather deny, namely that many of us are not entirely male (and for that matter not entirely female). <br />
Women are often admired if they show masculine traits, not so men, their reward is to be universally condemned. <br />
Ok some like the whole sissy thing, but for me I just want to be myself, somewhere in between.

it is fun to share but I agree having my own clothes makes me feel better in a much more profound way then borrowing in the past gave to me. Its not the clothes, its the way I feel about myself when wearing them.

Your not in between grimalkin your thinking from the males side. Why be so controlling? Because I didn't want him to crossdress at all unless it was to my advantage.

So basically you're using this as a bargaining chip? Ok I guess it works for some. I'm with Alasandra on this. It's not really about the clothes at all, it's more about expressing something that I cannot express in any other way. Cross-dressing does no excite me sexually, but it does help me sleep better at night.

There is a wealth of info on how to help your hubbies to be sissified here on EP. My wife is now helping me buy my own clothes, as most of my male clothes have been donated to a local shelter. I can't wait for Aug when my name and gender marker gets changed for good.

Hope it all goes well!

Get some friends preferably gay and have them come over and do your hubby in the rear good. Have your hubby s-u-c-k them off too, he needs to learn to do it and swallow c-u-m like good sissies do.<br />
My Bobby gets it in the rear at least once a week, sometimes more depending on how I feel. I want him to experience how to do as us girls does to the men.

I'd love to have my wife support me and take me out with her dressed to kill!

My first wife was appaulled by crossdressing, I said fine, I'd rather crossdress than be with someone so narrow minded! I have been married to my 2nd wife for 21 years now and she has no issues with my crossdressing (we actually go out some times). She helps me shop and rolls her eyes at me when i get a little slutty looking. (all of us CD's like to look that way a little bit if we can). We have 2 children and are very well off. My 1st wife is batteling a drug problem with her new bo' so pick your problem girl's, crossdressing may not be so bad.

My wife caught me over 30 years ago. I had my own clothes, her reaction might have been different had I been wearing her clothes. We haven't had sex in over 30 years with out me being dressed in feminine attire. My wife teases me that I won't do house work unless I am dressed fem. I never lose my attraction for my wife or my fem clothes. Please feel free to ask me any questions that you may have.

My wife has known that I wore lingerie before we got married. <br />
I wanted to be honest and told her early in our relationship.<br />
She supports me, but will not take part of me crossdressing.

She probably would if you did things for her such as being the maid and doing all the housework for her.

My wife knew before we married, that I crossdress. She does not try to control me. If I want to wear lingerie and a dress; I do.

So how are things with your husband now? Why do you feel you need to control him? Does he need controlling, does he desire to be a sissy? Why couldn't you see this as a hobby? Just curious.

He was out of control with his crossdressing, I did see it as a hobby but he went over the top and it needed controlling. He does desire to be a sissy but men would just put on the french maids uniform and prance around in it and have their fun. I have turned it into something productive, that works for me too.

My wife does not like my crossdressing either but likes for me to shop with her.I know the sizes and give honest opinions on what looks good on her.<br />
Then we both love shopping for shoes too.She gets excited when I bring sexy heels to her with some dirty comment as I fit them on her feet. As I do this She will give me a beaver shot ...;-)

I like my husband to crossdress now, it makes him so submissive and now he is my maid and does everything for me. I wouldn't like my husband helping me shop for my clothes and I choose what he wears, which is what I like to wear, he dosen't get a choice.

thank you for the story. yes we crossdressers are sometime a bit strange but nearly all are not gay . I have been married 37 years and wife knows. that story another day. you right to say it should be all about you and make sure that the maid knows it. As I said in a earlier comment (sorry but love your site)the best control is in the mind not being nasty to her but controlling the maid and always have fun especially you he will always have fun even taking him shopping and looking at every thing maybe just for you but enclude her and don,t buy anything will put his her head in a spin, you watch her and you will see a turn on. It dose for me and wife knows it.

After being on ep for 6 months I understand that crossdressing turns males on. It is a far easier way to control males than just by sex.

Casualwear: Thanks for clearing that up and I apologise for mistaking you amusement for anger. Constructive opinions are always welcome. The ridicule or aba<x>sement experience is not abusive when practiced between consenting adults. Check out the spanking experience groups they are full of men that love being spanked hard until they cry. They can enjoy their spankings, you can enjoy your lingerie and I will enjoy my sissy maid and “forcing” him into embarrassing situations, we may be amused by the things people will do in the name of fun or pleasure, but let’s not be critical of them. As you have bowed out of this thread I will paste this on your whiteboard.

christinetv: Try doing the housework for her not crossdressed, if you do it well she may enjoy that so much she will let you do it crossdressed. If she still dosent like to see you like that suggest doing the housework as a sissy maid when she is out.<br />
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casualwear: Its not a case of taking the dominatrix thing too seriously, I think you need to live and let live, and keep working on your anger problem. Some people would have issues with you wearing lingerie, how do you feel about them?

I would love it if my wife turned me into her Sissy maid. She still thinks its weird for me to like to wear panties. I have to sneak around to dress up more. I don't like to do it behind her back but she wont accept it. Your husband is very lucky.

I'd like to have on my satin and lace when your touching and fingering it Seemsky

When I come into contact (finger & touch wise) with satin & lace!!...... I just kind of go weak at the kness?.....don't know why but it sends me to Paradise!

Spot on wylecoyte, the vast majority of crossdressers are hetro, I think they like to wear womans clothes because they like to see women in pretty femminine things too. They have strong sex drive and get errections when putting on womens clothes. They are definately not gay, the gays just like other men not womens clothes.

Spot on Annette.

I think it's not gay for a guy to dress up in womens clothes . The last thing a gay guy wants to dress up as a woman .A gay guy usually don't want to have anything to do with women especially her clothes.

Yes Mtiplat thats what I am doing now

He is lucky to have a understanding wife and I agree with Aprilrose maybe have more to do with social role. So communication is the key for sure but it does not mean you cannot have fun together and find it practical in the same time.

Hi Aprilrose, I accept you what have said, you are very practical. I will come back and read your comments again in a few months or a year, and reassess the gender identity and practical advice you have given me. Right now I want to have fun with this crossdressing and sissy maid situation and will continue to do fun things and flex my power girl muscles.

Annette, I do all the cooking, cleaning and housework. My wife hasn't Cooked a dinner, touched a vacuum, or scrubbed a toilet in years. This in spite of the fact that our sex life is vanilla,generally, and she is not into being dominatrix. All because she is open to accepting me dressing as a woman.<br />
<br />
We cross dressers are not simple fetishists. It may manifest itself that way in younger men, or men who are continually frustrated, But there's a lot here that has to do with gender identity and social roles as well, and those of us who are allowed to be ourselves can evolve with it, grow with it, and be mature and self disciplined in our approach to it.<br />
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The fact that you are open to being Domme could make it fun for both of you. But if you want to live like a queen, you can control him with cross dressing alone. Let him get his own clothes,as feminine as he likes, as long as they are washable and practical for housework. <br />
<br />
I would also suggest that for starters, for at least the first year, you not allow him to dress unless he has a cookbook, a dustcloth, or a toilet brush in his hands.

Hi Joe thank you for your feedback on crossdressing. Although your wife probably is not on the power trip I am you probably can get greater acceptance from her if you do more around the house for her when crossdressed. Please read my blog on what I am doing to my husband. It is working out so well it is so easy to manipulate him as a crossdresser much easier than controlling him with sex.

I TO AM A CROSS DRESSER AND MY WIFE KNOWS. I THINK SHE SETS TRAPS ALSO TO SEE IF I DRESS. SHE WILL GO SHOPPING WITH ME TO HELP IN SIZING BRAS & PANTIES. I DO BELIEVE SHE HAS A HARD TIME WITH IT BUT ACCEPTS THAT IS PART OF WHO I AM. I DO LOVE HER AND APRICIATE SHE ACCEPTS ME. MY FEMINEM FEELING COME & GO AND HAVE PERIODS WHERE THEY ARE STRONGER AT TIMES. IT IS HARD TO STAY FOCUSED DURING THESE TIMES AS ALL I WANT IS TO BE A FEMALE.

I feel the same way! I want my wife to help me dress (I came out to her recently) I now paint my toes and use all her shower gels and shave everywhere.

Yes Annette, ny urges do fade somewhat after ***********, ad yes my wife has kept me in chastity to keep my desires to serve her strong. ****** denial is very humiliating..but also erotic and it keeps me very attentive to her needs. It also reduces my resistance to her desires to explore my gay side.

Hi Sunnybelle thanks for your comments I feel like I can relate to you. Now you mention it seeing the bulge when he is in my clothes is a bit of a turn on (giggle). I hadn't realised it before as I am generally upset with him crossdressing.

I won't like my guy wearing my clothings either, I enjoy more when I tell him to put on my panties and sometime pantyhose and he does it. I like seeing his crotch all scrunched up and the already fine bulge becomes more prominant in panties. It really really a turn on for me. Smiling and giggling. I'm blushing on my own typing. Another thing I like him wiping off his mess with my panties when he masturbates behind me. I like putting on my panties when they are his *** soaked / dried off and bit starchy on several spots. It's turn on for me.

Thanks for the feedback sissyjackie these are the comments I am interested in as I am still learning about crossdressers and the best way to learn about crossdressers are from the crossdressers themselves. Does the urge to crossdress and please your wife fade for a while after ejectulation?<br />
If it does would you be prepared to wear a chastity device to maintain the desire to crossdress and serve your wife?

I cross dress and my wife knows about it. At first she was not too keen but accepted it, just. I did it very rerely, and only in secret, well private anyway as I think she knew Then thought about how selfish I was being in expecting her to enjoy my fetish. I know it sounds simple but it came to me in a blinding flash that for this to work she had to get somting out of it. That's when i offered to take on all the housework. I don't think I've seen seen her smile so wide, she was dead keen. Now I have my own maids outfits and once a week, normally when she is out for the day, I do all the housework, dresssed in my maids outfit. It take me around 5 hours to complete top to bottom, I don't mastabate as when she comes home we have the best sex ever.

Controlling his crossdressing is a very powerful way to get him to do as you like. I know i will do anything to dress up. My wife knows it too, and she always takes advantage of the situation.