Imagining Myself Being A Prostitute?

After watching the English movie 'The Client List', I being to imagine myself marrying a man which his job isn't enough to support his family and you are jobless with 3 kids and you really need a job desperately and definitely you are shortage of money $$. What could I do to help?
I imagine myself working as a massage therapist in a Spa but actually behind the working field is actually unlicensed sex service. Needed a job badly, I guess I will do it but I will have to prepare for the worst for my husband to find out the truth about my job unless, I grab the chances to earn more money and stop as soon as possible before he found out about my past. Due to my experience with different men, I felt that they just need sex badly even though they are married man, single men or if they have the most beautiful woman around them or even if they have children.Whose fault is it suppose to be? Men or Women? Now that my boyfriend and I already declare that we are in a relationship, I still feel worried about my future with him. Will he ever lie or cheat me after I move with him to France and seeing myself learning how to write and speak French. Getting to know and understand the other dimension of the other world. I cannot lie to myself that I am always thinking if he is the right man for me because right now I am so far from him, long distance relationship is really hard. Half of me says that I have to trust and sincere to him and another part of me says that he will definitely have sex with another women, that is for sure and even he lie to me that he never do it, I still don't believe him.It hurts me but I can understand how he feels as a man, my heart says that I need to forgive him but at the same time that is where my revenge begin. I am so scared.... really confused, a lot of question if I am willing to take the risk and to be prepared if we are going to get a divorced provided if we never have a children. I sometimes really hate men... for cheating their loves one. So will my future husband who is a French citizen and with Algerian blood will ever cheat me? I am going to meet him soon in 20 May 12 in France for the very first time after 9 months in a relationship Via screen and phone calls, I know we are going to have sex... that is for sure as I will be staying in his apartment. What happened if he had what he wants and when I return back to Singapore, he say " Sorry baby, I want to break-up with you." Ohhhh.... I will burst out with tears rolling down my cheeks and I will say **** me.... he had what he want and now he is dumping me. I was cheated by his sweet talk... if that really were to happen! Curse and swear from me, Oh God please show me the way and hopefully you will always protect our sincere and truthful relationship because I really loves him so much.Please God!!
AnnaBellaRockz AnnaBellaRockz
22-25, F
Apr 21, 2012