Daily Tears

For the past half year I can't help but cry almost everyday, there is only about two days a month where I don't cry and I can cry for hours even when I don't feel sad the tears just keep on coming. I think I have depression but im not sure. Everyday I find myself a victim of verbal fighting and yelling and threats for something that I don't do. Sometimes I think about self harm, ive never actually did it before though. I'm afraid of blood, and confruntion, and of letting people see me cry. I want to look strong for my little brothers, but that's hard because I love them so much but the youngest just gives me no respect til the point that I cry. My grandmother, it's always like he is looking for new ways to make me seem like a bad person, and when I complain to my auntie she yells at me to take all of my most prized possessions away from me and not give them back ever. I hate fighting whenever I raise my voice I cry. I'm always sitting in my room because I cry so much, but it hurts to know that the pain that I feel comes from the family that I love.
Cryingsmile Cryingsmile
18-21, T
2 Responses Jun 20, 2012

hi, i'm going through the same thing. My mum treats me like crap. My brother is an addict and there is nothing they can do to control him. She tries to control me so i don't turn out the same without realising that i won't turn out like that. She treats me like i'm a sly coniving gollum. When she has any problems i am with her, not her husband or son, just me. Yet, i am the one she treats like trash. I hate being with her.
I have just learnt to insulate myself. I don't care too much about what she says anymore coz no one will ever be good enough for her. It's not like it doesn't hurt. It's just that i've learnt to take it in my stride, i really can't change HER can i, just my perspective of my life! So i tell myself that apart from her my life isn't all that bad.
Also, one other piece of advice, don't let anyone bully you ever! They get used to it and they do it forever. I'm not telling you to be a rebel, not saying that you should bully them in return. I'm just saying don't take things sitting down. Let ppl know that you know what is going on but you have made a choice to be immune to their attitude towards you!

You are still very young and things will get better in a few years. These are trying times for most people. Unless your a rich person life is hard, but if you can find one person to be friends with and love that person male, or female then life is easier. I am 50 years old and have had many good and bad times. My mom died 2.5 years ago, my boyfriend left me a year ago and I lost my job 6 months ago. I realize you are to young to think about the adult issues I am referring to, but like I said life will get better and you need to have hope that this will happen. You may want to ask you mom if she can afford to buy you some vitamins (B, C and D are really important for mental health, plus folic acid).