I Hate The British Stiff Upper Lip Because It Is Horrible Repression Of Feelings And Emotions

I am a 47-year-old  woman.  I feel I've been taught that 'big girls don't cry'.  For all my adult life, I've been told one way or another not to cry and not to get upset.  Why is it that 'I'm not supposed to let myself get upset'?  Here is a list of horrible cliches and sayings which people have said to me which imply that they don't want to see my tears and feelings (I hate them all and wish I could remove them all/ban them from the English language and make them illegal):

Pull yourself together.
Snap out of it.
Get a grip.
Get a hold of yourself.
Don't cry/it's no use crying/it's weak to cry.
Don't upset yourself/don't lose your composure.
You are childish/silly/weak [when you cry and show your feelings].

I felt so sick of this stiff upper lip thing of emotional repression that I wrote to Gordon Brown when he was prime minister and complained about the stiff upper lip thing in Britain.  He obviously read my letter but he took no action [probably because he saw it only as a member of the British public expressing their viewpoint.]

I'm going through a bereavement, my mother died and I'm seeing a Cruse bereavement counsellor.  My Cruse counsellor said that I need to cry and need to say how I feel.  I'll tell anyone who wants me 'to keep a stiff upper lip' that my counsellor said that I need to cry and express my feelings to challenge them.  Why have I been told that 'I'm an over-sensitive person who should toughen up and be thick-skinned and should be someone who is scared of nothing and someone who never gets upset over anything'?  Why is it that I am required to be a 'robot who has no feelings or tears to be seen as correct in British society'?  It's absolutely rediculous.  Why is it that someone sees me as weak/childish/silly/over-sensitive because they've seen me cry and get upset?  I do cry and I wish people would accept me more for who I am, an emotional and human person.  I'm not a stoic and I'm not a tough nut.
Anna63 Anna63
46-50, M
2 Responses Aug 8, 2010

I could not agree more with the comments made by "dehliarose" and Anna63 i do wish you all the very best hun.God bless you!

british society is bullshit - bad food, bad manners, bad hygiene, and the evil empire.