I Hate Crying

When I was a little girl, my mother used to always say "don't cry don't cry" while my brother was being beaten by my father in the next room. I guess it just stuck with me... Now, when ever I do cry, which seems to be almost every day, I try so hard to hold it in. I hyperventilate, I shake, and my whole body just stiffens up. I hate to cry. I hate myself whenever I do cry. I don't want anyone's pitty, no hugs, nothing, I just want to be alone when I cry, I try to be so quiet so nobody hears me...
sadkittykat sadkittykat
26-30, F
Sep 22, 2007