I Don't Go To Movies Because I Cry

I've been described as pretty cold, emotionally -- a sort of relationship ice queen. I don't get deeply involved and I find it hard to empathize or care about another person's troubles. But put me in a darkened theatre and get the tear-jerker scenes up, and I cry silently.

My mother says I used to sit in front of the television to watch "Dumbo" with a big box of tissues and cry through the scene when Dumbo's mother is imprisoned. When her trunk pokes out from the bars to cradle her baby ... I'm tearing up right now!

It doesn't matter how stupid the show is, when the sad, poignant, beautiful scene comes, I am a blubbering, snotty mess.

That's why I don't attend movies -- I'm still an ice queen, and I don't like looking so damned vulnerable, because that's false advertising. I don't like when dates try to touch or reassure me "it's all right." I'm crying simply because I'm being manipulated to cry -- it's not real and when it's over, it's over. I don't carry any residual sadness.

That, and they're too long these days, and I have to run out to the bathroom during some non-crying bit!
auroramaru auroramaru
46-50, F
Jan 14, 2013