A Picture A Store Or A Memory

I looked at my daughters picture just now, its on my desk, in the mouse pad. 
I don't want to cry when I look at her.  I know she wouldn't want me to cry. 
She passed away my daughter on 6/21/08.  She was 18 and some of my
friends already know this.  The tears just slide down my face.  So I look at
other pictures, think of her, and try to stop the tears.

I can go for awhile without crying.  Then some small trigger will just touch that
soft spot I try to hide deep inside myself, and the tears come rolling along, as they
are doing now.  Slowing down though as I am typing this, and thinking of my daughter
and trying to remember nicer things and the fact that I can't do anything to change
this and crying doesn't really help.  Well, sure it releases feelings that need to be
let go, but for me, those are only certain private times and I want to be able to
remember my daughter happily.

God i Heaven it is so hard to deal with this load I have been given.  I give thanks
to you today for all the people in my life that have helped me.  I pray for all of my
daughters friends to continue to have strength amongst themselves as they
continue to grow with this terrible loss for themselves also.  I pray for my daughter
to be resting in peace up there and pray she can somehow help me hear her
messages to me.    Amen.

I miss my daughter so much.  The tears well up in my eyes and I wonder all over
again why,...and then I have to stop myself.  I have to try to gather what ever strength
I have and keep going.  sometimes when I am angry I shout out, God you took the
wrong person, it should have been me.  But I know I shouldn't say stuff like that.
All I can think of right now is how much I miss my daughter. 

So, thanks all of you who have taken the time to read this, maybe each and
everyone of you who do, if you want to, say a prayer for all our young teenagers
wandering around out there, that they will be safe and be happy, for they are
the ones that are going to be taking our places someday. 
God Bless you all of you.

iamstillrighthere iamstillrighthere
51-55, F
3 Responses Aug 5, 2010

Bless u too, my friend, i prayed your prayer as I read it and I am praying for you too. I am blessed for a friend such as you. U have sent me so much encourgagement, and i embrace it daily. Thanks peace ...me

all i have is pictures of my Mom ..tears!...God bless! picture is better then nothing! lovyou! and in our soul..angels always with us....guiding us home to heaven.....someday soon.....

As I read this my heart grows weak,tears fall. Much pain,each loss in our life's.No way to compare,it's tragedy deep sorrow! Why oh why??! <br />
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Our Father which art in heaven , hallowed be thy name.Thy kingdom come thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.<br />
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Give us this day our daily bread.And forgive us our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: for thine is the power, and Glory, for ever Amen! Matthew 6:9-13<br />
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Take ......no thought : for morrow shall take thought for....itself...Matthew 6:34<br />
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For where two or three gathered in my name..there am I in the midst of them matthew 18:20<br />
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I pray with you Amen..holding you with the arms of my *soul* rainbow of my lov n hugs sent..your friend cAnDyrAiNsLoVOnYoUaLwAyS! the hardest..heartfelt story I've ever read here*hugs you*for opening your heart...will leave and pray and meditate..if only we had a reset button..but that's not reality..wish to reset many things..Thank you for being you..and your in my life..