I Feel Like There Is Something Seriously Wrong With Me.
Ever since i can remember I have always cried. It was always the worst in school. As early as 1st grade. if i was sitting in class, and i didn't understand what i was supposed to be doing i would cry. if i didn't understand the problem I'd cry. the teachers would get frustrated with it, I'd get more frustrated and I'd cry harder. i soon became known as "the girl who cries" "baby Jamie" "cry baby" and so on. My parents knew about my problem but they just said that I'm sensitive or emotional. i always felt like something just wasn't right.
I am now 24 and still a cry-er. I hate it! I cry went i am on the phone with a provider of some kind, cable company, insurance provider etc, and if something is not going correctly or i don't understand or if i feel like I'm asking a dumb question or just being stressed out from having to call them in the first place.... I feel my throat tighten, nose tingle, eyes burn... and its start right on cue. and then i feel like a moron.
I cry when I'm frustrated, mad, arguing with someone, asking a question, stressed, feel overwhelmed. i cry when someone does something good for me and i feel like i don't deserve it. basically the only time i don't cry is when i see an emotional movie or something that would make most people cry.
I am not depressed. yeah the world sucks right now because of gas prices and prices on everything is ridiculously high. but everyone is stressed out about that. i am not a sad person. I am engaged to be married and very happy with my husband to be and i don't feel like i have it any harder for anyone else doing the same things in my age group. i just really feel like there is something wrong with the crying button in my brain and i wish it would stop being pressed.
So it's pretty much frustration and the feeling of being overwhelmed is what makes my cry. and is hard to avoid. I can't just not make thought phone calls i need to make to get somethings done. i can't lock myself up to avoid situations. I just with i was normal and didn't cry easily. i just can't control it. I've tried. "oh just take a deep breath and count to 10" easier said than done when your on the phone with some stranger and they're thinking your an idiot.
I've tried talking to a psychologist too. and school counselors. they both do the same thing... stare at me, nod, smile, and say "there is nothing wrong with you your just sensitive." I AM SO TIRED OF HEARING THAT!
not really sure what i will get out of this, just kinda glad to be able to vent. any advise would help. sorry this went on so long but if you cry like i do you'll understand. would be nice to know if someone else out there goes trough this too. well...... thanks.