I Hate Mine More Than You Hate Yours

My husband is a total A**. He is lazy good for nothing alcohlic.  I leave him and he is like a roach that keeps on coming around, just when I think I've FINALLY rid myself of him, he pops up, lurking about MY front door, acting like my home is his home that my daughter is his daughter and he has rights....sure he cares sooooo much he can't get off his lazy drinking butt to even buy her diapers...I know the only reason he really hangs about is to try to get back into the nice comfy home I bought, to eat the warm meals I prepre and to sleep in the comfort of my bed.....never again. 

In the dark place in my heart I wish he were dead...and I feel bad that I don't feel bad for feeling that way.  My advice to all women is when you want babies go to the bank and do it alone, all the financial stuff and schedules and childcare and housework I can handle, it's the distruption of this ridiculous human who proclaims he is a man that drags me down.....I guess hindsight is 20/20

nappanee nappanee
41-45, F
2 Responses Feb 25, 2009

How did you do it? Leave him, I mean? My husband has been unemployed for 1.5 yrs (was fired because of his drinking after 16 yrs on the job). He's depressed, drinks, lays around the house ALL DAY LONG watching TV, while I work and the kids go to school. His job search is on and off again. This is not a great time to be unemployed, much less having been fired from a long-time job. Part of me wants to give him the benefit of the doubt and try to work it out for our kids' sake. They are young enough not to really know what's going on, why daddy is home all day, and they still really love him and he loves them. But one day, he's going to disappoint them one time too many times (as I have been with his empty promises) and are going to realize their father is a drunk - if he doesn't get help soon, which he changes his mind about everytime we talk about him going into rehab.<br />
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My gut instinct is to grab the kids and move to a different state. However, our biggest asset is the home we own jointly. Our savings ran out last year and we are living paycheck to paycheck (my paycheck). He still acts like we are not poor and thinks everything will be okay (I think he's lost touch with reality). Obviously, I'm a realist and a planner. I have been living so unhappily for so long and I know something needs to change. But at what cost? Do I remove the children from their father for my own gain? What is my answer when they ask why their daddy and mommy aren't together?<br />
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If I stay with him, I will feel rage. When we are separate, my life calms down and I can enjoy it. He says he'll never leave me (wonder why?). He says he'll never leave his kids (even though he's not supporting them currently).<br />
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Would it be mean of me to leave after 16 yrs of marriage and two children?<br />
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I appreciate your input especially if you have small children and an alcoholic husband or have grown up with an alcoholic parent.

YOU GO GIRL!