When And Why I Started To Inflict Pain
I first started cutting when i was a freshman in high school(9th). It was a very stressful time for me and i am now going to be a junior and it still is. I've had to promise a friend not to cut but its so hard not to hurt myself. He doesn't understand. why i start to inflict pain was because of drama, losing friends, and family problems. i am 16.5 yrs old and my mom has me do all the stuff around the house. She spends all day on facebook while i watch my little brothers(2 and 10 yrs old). When i was 5 i was babysitting my older brother who turned 19 june 1st. It's been hard my whole life growing up in this house. my mom adn dad are divorced and now my mom is remarried to this guy who is my cousin[dads side of family]. One night he was drunk and we were talking, next thing i know he was rubbing his hand up my shirt and the down my pants. But nothing happened cuz i got up and went in my room. i slept with my door locked that night. and my mom was away for the weekend. i had no idea what was going to happen. i wanted to cut so badly but i couldnt cuz i thought of the promise so instead i burned the **** out of my wrists, and they were so badly blistered i had to cover them up real good and i wasnt able to rest then on the desk while i typed. Once im 18 i want out of this house and hopefully ill stop. but as long as this family is in my life im not sure. and now i find myself looking up ways to inflict self pain. i know its bad but i cant help it.
and right now i have abecause this guy i like tells me he likes me and next time i tlk to hm he has no idea what is going on. this is so much for me to handle i want to die. i need ways to inflict pain but i cant find anything but cutting and burning... i need new ways and anyone have any?