Sharpner Blade

id read a lot about self-harming in the press, it was like this big issue once upon a time but anyways, it was becoming more and more popular.....blah....i was like 15 when, just out of curiosity one night whilst studying geo, i took my sharpner and took it apart....took the blade and pressed it against my arm...i was scared but feeling so 'cool' at the same time, 'im cutting myself'.!!!!! yeah so then i just held my arm out and started going at it, in the end their were like 12 cuts on my arm...it actually felt really good to do that...i dont remember it being painful, just feeling so good at that moment....so then blood was everywhere even if they were all superficial cuts,..took tissues and dried it...i still sometimes do it just to get the thrill of the first time but nothing beats that night...
idontwannadream idontwannadream
18-21, M
2 Responses Dec 1, 2012

Aw, buddy---don't do this! It's often a sign of a deeper problem. Please don't hurt yourself.

i don't do it all the time, like its not a daily occurence but sometimes when i feel overwhelmed by something, doing that helps....im not just saying that, but it kinda calms me in a way...like the last time i did that was last month, and after that, i was fine....its not that bad...
at the same time it is kinda stupid though hurting oneself, but i got nothing else to help me release....

When I got/get low from BD, I have done some self-destructive things, so I know clinical depression can make me do things I never would do otherwise.
I know a gay guy about your age who went through a knotty period where he cut himself---a lot. The scars still show---they’re scary looking---like they’re more than skin deep. He tells me he doesn’t do it anymore, as he’s in a lot better place in life now, and I hope he’s right.

i wanna get to a place where cutting will not be an option for me when i feel like ****...i dont know if ill ever get there but hopeful that in the future ill be over it...

Let's hope so :)

ya, lets....it will happen though, with time

2 More Responses

i relive that moment every night...