Now Masked By My Whole Body

In my earlier cutting I always used to cut my left arm. A few weeks ago though, I had some really bad cuts on my upper arm and since it's summer all I had to cover it up with was a short-sleeved shirt. Well, when my girlfriend and I spent the night at a friend's house my girlfriend accidentally saw the cuts. Now she's suspicious and I always catch he looking at that arm and when she kisses me she feels on that arm, even under the sleeve. No I can't cut there. Instead I cut my legs, my back, even my stomach, but none of those places provide the same relief. I'm trying to work up the courage to just tell her, but it's hard. Besides, if I told her she'd just ask me to stop. I can't, I've tried. I thought that with everything I've been through I'd be strong enough to say three little words to my girlfriend. But I was wrong. I can't do it. It hurts too much.
maskedbyleft00 maskedbyleft00
13-15, F
2 Responses Jul 12, 2010

I hope you work up the courage to tell her. I really do. Telling someone can be relieving. It's like releasing a breath that you've been holding in. It'll also help to have someone that knows. When they try to help you, it gives you a good feeling. Like you're cared for and loved.

I know how you feel... My boyfriend knows i used to cut.. And then i stopped.. But i kept gettin these urges.. and just yest i cut 154 times on my stomach.. coz he will see the cuts on my arms.. and im counting on the cuts on my stomach to heal before he is back from his tournaments.. <br />
God i want to tell him. and i want to get out of this. get better. but sometimes i feel like rather just cutting.. bcoz it makes me feel so goood you know?