I Never UnderstoodI don't know why I do it...I can't remember when it started..sometime last year. It started off with just a brillo, scrapping the side of my arm until angry red scratches appeared and finally calming down when I saw my blood. But then I broke my first razor...I carved the first 'No' into my upper arm and that was all she wrote. For over a month at least one "No" would be added to my arm every night...but then I got scared. What would happen if someone saw? So I stopped..it seemed impossible but I did. And here I am again, months later, staring down at my arm. It's not the neat "No"s this time, its random confused slashes in all directions in a sort of circle on my arm right before my inner elbow. I don't know why I do it....I do everything wrong, Im not pretty, Im not smart, Im not my parents favorite child, But I still don't know why I do it... I have a lot of private breakdowns, but it's rare I actually allow myself to cry. And only after I do can I feel pretty...look decent...
I'm only sixteen....I don't know why I do it
I'm completely alone.....I never understood it
It's addicting.....Im scared because I do it
I adore my blood....Im sick because it calms me
What's wrong with me?
fatalconfusion 16-17, F 1 Response 0 Jan 23, 2011