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I'm A Failure

16. January 2012

I became the person I was afraid to be, a failure. The time now is 1:56 p.m. and I skipped school. I hope to be successful in the things I do and succeed with it, but no. I was hoping for an A in the sample on Human Rights in English recess in which I wrote six pages and I know everything by heart. I heard a girl in class was disappointed because she got B, then I get an A, I thought. I look at the paper, think about how much I had written couple of small mistakes that were in the sentences and there was the comment D was there. I did not smile, but read over the comment. You have an incredible amount of grammar errors it said. There was a break and then it was back to the classroom to smile as if nothing has happened. A girl asked me what I got, she got a B. I replied that I had a D and she encouraged me and said that it is good there. Gently I put on my jacket and bag behind and went out. On the way I went past the old ladies, I cried and listened closer to the edge. Because I felt like I was quick to fall over the edge. As I thought about what I was going to get the character card was D in Norwegian, math and arts and crafts and the subject that I saw happy working with and love a D. I am a failure. Thought I could be anything, but no. I came into the house, got scissors, and went in the bathroom and deliberate cuts on her arm. I cannot find a razor blade to cut out looking like that I am the blood that flows out and spreads into the water.
lonelyblackfly lonelyblackfly 16-17, F 3 Responses Jan 16, 2012

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I've been there. At your age it does seem that school is everything. One bad grade and the world collapse. Things like that got carried away until I started my professional life. One bad project, one bad comment from my boss, one failure.. and I think that I am a failure. I am currently trying to work out of that world. Not completely over it but I have come to realize that failure and success cannot be determined from your grades or your work only. There are other achievements. One of them is maintaining my health.. Trying so hard not to get as asthma attack or another case of typhoid is important now. I congratulate myself if I can pass one year without having any critical illness. Having myself slim down is also a success. Having inspired my mom so her glucose level is normal again is also a success. So it's just about a matter of what your definition of success is. My advise is to make that definition as varied as possible. Good luck.

Well thank you for such a good answer. I'm starting to realize that you can be successful in all sorts of things. It's not like I will be the best in everything, but I get upset when I fail in one thing.
But you had a good sense of what you wrote, there are many other things that you successes in. Thanks

Thanks for the advice, but I am sorry that the teacher is not looking at the content but on grammar. I will not be a loser all my life. It is so unfair that someone can get to everything and is the best in everything, while I struggle with it all. I want to be successful. Thanks again.

This is an extreme reaction to one bad paper. Get help. You need to learn to deal with disappointment. Okay, you made some errors, so next time, you will do better. Now clean yourself up and find out what those grammatical errors were, and don't make the same mistakes again. Learn from it, don't die for it.