Cutting To Carving?

I was young when I first started cutting. At first, I would just run a knife lightly over my arms, small scratches. It'd hurt but then I'd feel so much better- like I deserved the pain.
As my life problems kept adding up, so did my cutting. I moved from my arms to my legs- I could lie about the small cuts but These I needed to hide.
Now, I find myself doing it whenever I can. Every night when I'm alone, I cry and cut myself Into oblivion. Lately, I've been carving words - "wh*re, sl*t" etc etc. I want to stop but at the same time, I believe I deserve it. I need to stop eventually.
deleted deleted
26-30
May 4, 2012