I'm A F#$&ing Idiot

So after a few years without cutting i relasped almost a year ago, i posted a privious story about what happened when my friends found out, finally i got up the courage, well the liqid courage anyway to finally tell my cousin. Actualy her boyfriend helped me to relize that i needed to stop which i knew, but i relized that in order to stop i needed to come clean. I told him me and him had a long talk he had some problems in the past but as soon as i told my cousin and i asked her what she thought she said she thought i was a f#$&ing idiot and wouldn't talk to me anymore. I don't expect her to understand but i was hoping by coming clean and telling her everything she wouldn't think any less of me, this dose not seem to be the case.
I'm not sure what to do, everyone tells me what i need to do but then just says o well i don't want to hear it or just stop. I feel like all they want to do is put me in a white padded room and forget that i'm there. I really do try i do anything i can to help everyone out i give people rides whatch there kids i'm the frist one everyone calls when they need anything. Now that i may need a little help i'm not good enough for them any more, unless they need something cuz they still wont me to deal with there problems.
I just don't know what to do any more, I feel like my whole body iches and no matter how hard i scratch it won't go away even after i find the back of my hands blleding or blood under my finger nails. What to do what to do, confusion is fogging my mind
toliver5050 toliver5050
18-21, F
1 Response Jul 7, 2012

You are not an idiot! No matter what people tell you. You are dealing with something that will be a struggle, probably for the rest of your life. You should be commended for holding out as long as you did, not punished by your friends and family. As for the helping thing, please don't blame them. It's hard to accept when someone that helps everyone else needs help. They probably don't know what to do because you usually take care of everything.