Breathe...

sometimes i forget to breathe. like just a moment ago, i was walking to my next class and i started to get light-headed then i started hyperventilating. that's when i realized i hadn't been breathing.
apnea. or is it hypopnea? i don't know.

sometimes i wish i had gills. cut gills into my neck.
sometimes i wish i could breathe through my skin. cut myself open to get more air inside me.
sometimes i wish my cuts were the ones that breathed. i would have to keep cutting to keep breathing.
sometimes i wish i could just stop breathing all together. dead.
sometimes i wish i didn't wish these things. i wish i was "normal." i hate the word. but i want it so badly.
somethingbecomingnothing somethingbecomingnothing
22-25, F
Nov 30, 2012