Count To 10

Shut your eyes tight,
Tell yourself it's all alright.

Clench your fists in till they feel as if they could burst,
You remember the time you had to do this first.

You're eyes soon reach their fill,
Soon after you're tears begin to spill.

Brace yourself for what's yet to come,
Will leave you physically feeling numb.

Quick before you get that feeling in your gut,
Reach for something you know will cut.



Lets count to 10.



Here's to the first cut,
We'll call this one number 1.

1. This one's for what a liar you are.
You lie and lie, to yourself and everyone around you,
You say you're okay, say everything's good.
Liar.


2. We'll dedicate this one to you,
Sorry for what I've put you through,
But you can't say I didn't warn you in every way I could,
Of what was going to come.
But somehow, this whole thing is
My fault.


3. This one's just for me,
Those quirks and imperfections,
All the little things that make you want to scream,
I hate me.

4. And here come the memories right on cue,
I'll think of you, and you, and you.
Remember that time you said you wanted me to die?
Yeah, me too.
I'm still scared of you.

5. In walks the physical aspect,
Everything starts to blur together,
You feel like you might fall,
As the blood flows down your arm,
You think to yourself,
I'm going to hell.

6. This one is for the pure drive of it,
All those nights spent wanting, needing this,
All those times you almost went to far,
The moment or three you woke up in the hospital,
You my friend,
Are such a **** up.

7. Hey remember him?
The feel of his hands yanking at your clothes,
Ripping your skin,
Did you or did you not get away?
Can't remember from all those drinks,
Raising your glass saying here's to those pesky little
Secrets you'll never know.

8. What's that, a mirror?
Your eyes flash to bloody arms,
Is that really me?
I almost didn't recognize myself,
But then again,
Maybe it'd be best if,
I didn't know me

9. Here's to the people that said they cared,
Funny how they always leave,
When you need them most,
You feel the anger seeping through you,
Almost as bitter as how you sounded when you said,
I don't care.

10. Hope you hurt,
Feel the pain,
Hope you want to cry,
Take it all away,
But here you sit,
Surrounded by blood and thinking of all your disappointments,
As you put the blade down,
You can almost hear it say,
See you tomorrow,
*****.



bigeyesseemore bigeyesseemore
22-25, F
4 Responses Dec 1, 2012

Well, I am amazed by this. You are so candid and open. So honest. This poem is hard to read. It brought me to tears. Thank you for sharing this. Please feel free to send me a message any time you feel like you need a few encouraging words.

Thank you so much, the same goes for you.

Ain't it the truth! This it beautifully written!

Thank you.

Ohhh...this is so true...and so sad....but you do not deserve that..you should stop cutting yourself and yes i know it is hard...if you need someone to talk to I will be here...always ;)

I always know when you've cut..You write these haunting but beautiful things. Honestly, it gave me chills reading this. But..you're heads clear now huh? Have you told anyone? God I miss you. I would tell you that you shouldn't have done it..but I know how it gets for you. I don't blame you. But ill support you to the end. 1 day down, a lifetime to go eh? Everything.