I'm Done For, You Know?

No rude comments. Don't waste your time, I won't even look at them if they're rude. Any other comments accepted!:)
I'm just done for, completely. I mean, it's like stretching an elastic band till finally it reaches breaking point. And then bam, it breaks. That's me. That's my life. I've finally broken, and I really can't take anymore sh*t. Yeayea, everyone around me saying 'why can't you get better?' or 'you can get better if you want. You just don't wana*'. If ONLY it was that easy. But you'll never get it till you've gone through depression and what I've gone through.
It feels like I'm floating, you know? Everything's so surreal. I don't feel or eat or talk. Just sit there feeling nothing. I'm isolated. It's so dreamlike, yet there's one thing that gets me back to reality. Cutting. Don't you dare nag me bout that.
Then there's school, and everyone else. And when I think of them, bam. Anxiety attacks. I don't seem to identify why I feel like this, or what caused it. I don't care anymore.
You know, depressions become my comfort. My rock. Without it, maybe I'd die.
Don't call me selfish, yeah? Not like society considers ME before anything.
strongwarrior strongwarrior
18-21, F
3 Responses Jan 14, 2013

To me, cutting is the only thing that makes me feel alive now. Everything else is like an illusion. Counsellors say they understand, most of the time they do not. Only fellow cutters would understand.

Yep. Exactly true. Only someone who's been through this would ever understand. I know, everything just seems so surreal you know? I can't live without it at all x
Thanks!:)

You're not selfish. You're just in much pain and fighting it as you can. Even if it's in a damageable way, the fact that you're still fighting is actually a sign of courage and hope. I know you may not be convinced of it but it's true. I've been here too, I swear it will improve in the future if you hold on long enough. Remember to breath.

Awwwhhhhhh, that's so sweet! :')
Thank you so much. People like you get me through the day x
I'll try. Sucks, but I'm still holding on I guess :/

When I was reading your post, I was thinking "damn, that is me". And I honestly believe...that's very sad.
People don't understand, I don't think they will... but after all I have hope on people like you and me and...all those out there.
Cause this is the only thing we have, you know? The only thing that brings us to the reality. Yeah, is not the best way to keep you feet on the ground but is the only way we know.

EXACTLY. Oh my God, you just literally told my life story.
Thank you so much. I don't even know if I can ever stop this habit.
Anyways, thanks :) means a lot x

I felt the same way reading, I hate what I need to do to keep me alive but I have to use it, the only thing I have is that.

Yeah I know, me too :/ sucks so bad.x