I Feel Worthless

Ever since I lost my son I have felt like there is no way out of my pain. The only thing that helps me is cutting myself. Its a pain that I can control. Its not pain caused by someone or something else its ALL me. I know that may sound weird but being able to control something in my life makes me feel better. Yeah cutting myself does scare me a little because what if I don't stop? What if it leads to me just killing myself all together? I've debated on killing myself multiple times in the last year but I've never attempted in in fear that one of my parents or my brother or one of my best friends would be the ones to find me. I can't do that to them. They don't deserve that.
beautifullybrokengirl beautifullybrokengirl
18-21, F
Jan 21, 2013