Im Never Happy

They all seem to fade....fade away....but they're still there. You may not be able to see them, but the scars are still beneeth my skin. If you look, look, open your eyes and you will see a sad girl. A girl who needs a friend. A friend to listen and not judge. I have feelings too. Im not what my arms are. All those cuts and scars, they aren't me. Under my tears and all my pain, there's a girl. A girl who is afraid of losing everything she has. I smile, do i mean it? Hardly ever. I'm alive, that's the best im doing these last couple days. The cutting seems to help. I cut deeper, depending how im feeling. It's a way of life now. I've grown to do it. My parents don't notice, they hardly care. My dad says it's nothing, my mom sees me, sees me in my eyes. Im sad and very insecure. Cutting just makes it all go away.
Smileprincessitsokay Smileprincessitsokay
13-15, F
2 Responses Jan 22, 2013

WOW
Dear Smileprincessitsokay......I feel the same way. I keep wondering what it is really like to be happy. I am quite a bit older than you are but I can still relate to your feelings and you are not alone. Somehow I am sure that won't make you feel better but if you ever really need a friend to talk to about anything don't hesitate to email me. I have my own website and I blog alot about all different subjects but most of all, people who are REAL and have REAL concerns about their feelings and life in general.
take care
angeleyes650819
my website is www.nonaknowsbest.com if you ever want to visit it....or just write me

Cutting helps for a short period of time. Then the pain will return and cause you to cut again... It's a horrible thing to start, I wish I never did. I wish I could stop.

I know exactly how you feel. My parents seem to think everything is fine. They look at me and see a 'happy' child. I don't know how they can miss it, when it isn't exactly the smallest thing to miss.

If you ever need anybody to talk to, you can message me at any time and i'll reply as soon as I get it.

Stay strong x