"f.u.c.k.", Read The Knuckles...

I started cutting myself back in 2007. I had to switch schools and was all alone. I had already been pretty depressed for about two years. For some reason the though of self mutalation just became appealing to me. I went a couple months before anyone found out. My friend's mother found a picture of my scarred wrist on his phone. She called the school, & the school called my mother. They kicked me out until I went to KYS (Kettering Youth Services).

I was in that hospital for about two weeks before I convinced them to release me. Though I had not stopped cutting myself, I have a very persuasive tone. I would have been fine if my mother hadn't found my left over razor in the bathroom floor. After that she forced me to go back into the hospital. I was not very happy with her decision. Once I finally got my aunt to let me move in with her in South Carolina, they released me. So I moved away and things slowly got better. I was still cutting at first, but things stopped after a short while.

I went almost two years without cutting myself. I did not body damage, other than piercings and tattoos. Though there is a lot of drama I'm not including in this, because the details are long. Long story short, I'm cutting myself yet again. Only a select few friends know about it. Most of them want to kick my *** for doing it again, after I was doing so good. I don't honestly care though. It's my body and I'm going to do what I want with it. I'm not going to push them away just because they care, but I'm not going to listen all the time. Pointless advice personally, I already know it's bad for me.

[[If you don't understand the title to my story, "F.U.C.K." is carved into my knuckles. Oh, and please excuse my spelling]]

ImEndangeredGimmeYourCola ImEndangeredGimmeYourCola
22-25, F
7 Responses Oct 9, 2009

Do you suffer from MPD ?

I live in South Carolina!

**** life is carved into my knuckles(: I know what youre going through and it is hard. ive cut for going on three years and i do it every day around 12 times a day. It ******* sucks to know that my parents know what I'm doing because I go to counseling and they kep an eye on me round the clock. But quite frankly I dont care anymore. Just keep your head up. Youll make it if you just believe. Promise.(:

i wrote F. U. C. K. on the back of my hand and it was deep and noticeable<br />
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anyways your friends shouldn't be saying stuff like that i have friends that i know and what they do is support me and you need to tell your friends that. tell then than you don't need a lecture you need support.<br />
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i told my friends that and they agreed to support me, and i havn't been cutting as much since then cuz i knew they cared enough about me to do that. so you should try and talk to them about it.

you know the truth behind my story... You're the only one that needs to know it... It brought us together... My pain...became our happiness for a time... Yes things are hectic right now... But like in our past...this will become a thing of happiness.... I promise...

I cant tell you how many people do this. I know that one of my lovers came to me all beaten and broken he was what people call meat abused as a child and being pimped out he didnt know what home felt like what true love was or could mean I never forgot the way he came to me and the way he is now since then ive had 1 more come to me that way and he too has stopped cutting since i give them what they seek and they call me home because i not only provide them with the pain that they need but i provide them with a story every night a bed with me skin on skin, touching holding a true sence of being and i am there strength there purpose there hope and I wont allow them to be hurt even tho they are strippers they still have morals and i respect them for there little things that make them them <br />
you have to find that someone i share my bed with 5 to me they are my family and everyone of them is Irreplaceable.

hey, reading ur story helps me feel less like the only freak in the world tht cuts.im prob much older thn you, but you should know tht i find comfort in your story and it helps me feel less alone, thanks for being honest and sharing :)