Its Coming Back

I havent done it in a while but i can start to feel the itch in my veins, the thoughts in my mind that craves it. And as everything in my life start to go down hill again...i feel a strong need to fufill those thoughs..if i give them what they want then i'll feel better...My hoodie is already hanging up on the door ready for another day of covering up the scars that keep multiplying....i just hope i dont go too far.

FlyAwayDreamer18 FlyAwayDreamer18
18-21, F
2 Responses Mar 5, 2010

You shouldn't go to such extreme's to release pain.<br />
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Cutting, as far as I can tell, is a way to re-direct the pain. You want the Emotional/Mental pain gone. So you replace it with something that is real. That only you can/want to see.<br />
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I, myself, never been a cutter, if thats what you call it. You've prolly heard it all before over and over, that its bad.<br />
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It's always going to be up to you, to keep the pain inside. It's just a matter whether you want to deal with it or re-direct it.<br />
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:( Don't get back into it.

I know where you are, considering I'm right about there too, and have been on and off for a couple weeks. I've been trying really hard not to, but it's sooo hard... there are moments when it seems like I'll get by and manage to keep from starting up again, and then my mood drops suddenly or something happens and I'm back in that position all over again. It's a pain and so difficult to resist, and I wish I had advice, but anything I would say would sound useless and cliched and you've probably already done what you can already. It's an internal battle now, and just a matter of managing to KEEP doing it... good luck, my thoughts and hopes are with you...