A Beautiful Lie

I thought i got out alive,
with scars i cant forget,

but now there is blood smeared across my wrists,
up my arms,

it burns,
i cry out in pain,

the pain,
my beautiful demon,
my blissful escape,

i am a lie,
big smiles, loud laughs,
sucess written all over me,
i am a lie,
a beautiful lie.

pull back my sleeves,
trace the pattern of my cuts,

my mind wanders,
back to the days,
i would fall to the pavement,
you would stand above me,
shoving me down with your fist,
"scream, shout,
do something,
i dont believe you dont feel pain"

but i do,
i use pain to remind me im still alive,

pain is a drug,
the blade is my dealer,
im addicted,
im trying to get off it,
but i relapse


ive stopped believing in myself,
ive stopped looking for oppurtunities at getting my life back,
ive stopped trusting other people,
ive stopped breathing

i havent stopped bleeding,
for that is all i need.
bigeyesseemore bigeyesseemore
22-25, F
Apr 29, 2012