Acceptance

I'm sure we've all been through it, a friend sees your cuts and tells you to stop/never do it again/call them next time you feel that way/STOP! They seem to think that this will help you, that by telling you that they will be sad/upset/disappointed/concerned if you cut again you will stop.
This didn't work for me. If anything, it made it worse. After someone would say that, if I did give in a cut, I felt like I was letting my friend down, disappointing everyone who cares about me.
When I met with my therapist for the first time last week, she told me that she wasn't going to tell me to stop. She said she would help me find other ways of coping, but that if I did slip up and cut, it would be OK. Her office would be a place of acceptance where there was no such thing as failure.
Immediately, it got easier to resist. I don't know why, but having someone who promised that they wouldn't freak out if you cut again somehow made it easier to fight the urge to cut. Somehow just knowing that the option to cut was there, not slammed in my face by the people around made me feel better. I guess it's the whole psychology of wanting what we can't have, by telling me it was OK, and I didn't have to hand over my exacto blades right away, she made it more possible for me to not cut. I have only cut once since I met with her, the fewest cuts per week in months.
I have hope.
calcgirl calcgirl
22-25, F
Apr 21, 2013