I'm Lying.

I used to cut myself everyday. It got so bad. The stupidest things made me cut, but by then i think i was just looking for reasons. I tell everyone now that I've stopped, but I'm lying. I've really only told a few people, my best friend, and my boyfriend. My boyfriend would get so upset. I actually made him cry once, he doesn't deserve that. He cried because I threatened to end my life. I shouldn't have told him. I didn't go through with it anyway, obviously. But i wanted it. I still want it. But i can't tell anyone that. To be completely honest, he's what keeps me going. The thought that one day, someday, we can be together all the time. But until then, I need to keep cutting. It's not a choice. I need it. I'm addicted. I just have to keep lying.

stfusarahh stfusarahh
18-21, F
3 Responses Dec 28, 2009

I know exactly how you feel. I know I need to stop before I cut too deep... I don't know when that last cut will be... Hopefully no time soon. But for the time, I have to keep doing it. At least until I can be by my boyfriends side. After that, i'm never going to cut again.

i know how you feel im trying to stop and i keep lying to my bestfriends that i have stopped but i havnt but im trying not to =/

i know how you feel, i do exactly the same thing ..

I hope you can overcome the lies and truly be honest to yourself one day...until then, do what you have to to keep going.