Be Prepared.

6 years I have been cutting. And to say I'm done, well that wouldn't be true. I'm in high school and I just want everyone to know the struggles of being a teenage girl and having as many scars as I do.

Let me just say, If you are planning on cutting yourself- dont please read this and realize the troubles that this obsession/addiction can cause you. Be honest with yourself before you get into something like this.

5 Reason ou shouldn't cut:
Scars are the number 1 way I can spot out a fellow injurer, and If i can tell so can everyone else. It's not that easy to hide yourself when you cut in places such as your arms or legs. You may think that having people stare at you isn't that big of a deal but it's not the only thing that happens. People distance themselves from you, and your senior year you realize you only have 4 freinds in school.

Now this is one that i've had particular trouble with. People love to talk, and unfortnuatly you are the easiest target! If you cut, and people find out that is what they call a juicy story! They will hang onto that for weeks. I know you say "They don't care about me! Why would they talk like that?" Well let me just say you're right, they don't care- what they care about is looking cool infront of they're other freinds and with a sob story or a mean story or whatever they make it they've got the ears of people they want to impress.

Don't tell yourself lies about how this effects your loved ones. It will hurt them, tear them apart and cause them way more troubles than you could ever imagine. It's been 4 years since my parents found out I injur and to this day my mother and I barely talk. My father and I don't hang out like we used to and my sister doesnt want to admit we're related. Cutting changes the family dynamic and not in a good way.

Once you've gotton to the point where you are cutting every day, let me just say you are addicted. If you can stop without help thats amazing, but if you need the extra help just realize that this addiction you now have will never go away. I was clean for 3 years and I've been cutting again for the past 2 years. It's a compulsion that is hard to control. Just understand that addiction (of any kind) is a life-long battle of decision making.

Society is the biggest factor to a self-injuerer's life. If you live in a society where they allow you to injur, then it wouldn't be an issue. However, most of us do live in a society where self-injury is taboo. Not only is it a struggle for your emotions and self-control, its a sturggle to survive in our society with sever scarring (mental and physical). Be aware that in todays society scarred people will not climb up the bussiness ladder as fast as a "normal" person.

PLEASE NOTE THAT NORMAL IS THE ONLY WORD I COULD COME UP WITH- there is no such thing as normal :]
jfakldf8ufadj jfakldf8ufadj
18-21, F
1 Response Jul 16, 2010

While I cannot say I have experienced cutting this way (I hide my scars well.... NO ONE ever sees me with my shirt off), I agree with your analysis. I think I should add to your concerns though. If you are a high school cutter bound for college: most colleges and universities will put you on a behavioral plan (something you can get kicked out for) if they find out you have been engaging in self harm. Unless the school is progressive enough to understand that self harm is related to psychiatric issues, rather than just bad choices like drinking too much (another way to get onto a behavioral contract). There is no safe road when engaging in cutting, people WILL NOT understand, nor would they (or should they) believe you when you say you will not do it again.<br />
Now to respond to the comment you left on my story:<br />
First, I am sorry it saddened you, that certainly is not my goal here.... I share the worst of myself on EP because I cannot share it with anyone in my life. Second, how is cutting for helping? While it may seem like a crutch or a fix initially, ultimately it turns into a mode of punishment - the physical pain doesn't take away the anguish inside. If a person is not committing self harm willingly, that is, it is a psychosis - then that person should seek help. If that person is doing it willingly then they should stop, the consequences are too great.... or accept the fact that they will have to deal with scrutiny and the greater pain of hurting those that care about them.<br />
I deserve pain, it is all I am, not a moment goes by that I deserve to be free of torment. I hate myself for the ugliness that I am.... so why not finish it? Total self destruction would hurt those that care about me, and I will not do that. When they are gone though (whether my foolishness drove them away or they have found peace), I hope Hell has a place for me to continue my punishment for eternity.