That Long Drive Home

There's a new symptom comming along in my life. A symptom that occurs when I haven't injured myself in 3 days or more. It's almost like I get into a trance, but this is different-dangerous-

I'm 17, and I drive myself anywhere and everywhere i can. But lately, i've noticed something scary. I'll start to think about all the stresses in my life as I'm driving, and the next thing i'll know, It's been ten minutes and I don't really recall what was happened around me. I haven't gotton into an accident yet, but it's getting worse.

This morning I was driving to get milk, it's a two minute drive and i thought about cutting- how i haven't done it in a while and when i pictured the blood i let go of the steering wheel and just kept driving. Luckily the guy comming towards me honked and i came out of it. That night i recreated my self injury kit. It's my eyeshadow container i took apart so it's just the empty shell of the container. It contains razors, safety pins, and bandaids as well as neosporin.

When I cut, I no longer have these weird episodes. There are children in my neighborhood, there are people living their daily lives. I would rather take 20 steps back then hurt one of them.

Hurting myself may just save lives of others at this point... this sucks.
jfakldf8ufadj jfakldf8ufadj
18-21, F
1 Response Jul 20, 2010

Try looking up Dissociation....it might help !!