It Doesn't Seem Real.

I'm 16 years old. From the outside, my life may see ok. It is far from it. I grew up with my younger sister and brother. My dad has always been addicted to drugs. Marijuana more his choice. My mom hates him for it. I think that why me and my siblings are so messed up. When I entered high school, I guess I couldn't adjust. I had maybe 5 friends. I slowly became depressed. I tried to hide it but I was failing school and stopped talking to my friends. When I was a sophomore, things just pretty much spiraled for me. Junior year started off bad. I had no friends. I cut myself for the first time after breaking apart a shaving razor. I felt alive. After, I felt guilty and didn't cut again for a couple weeks. I became addicted, each time getting worse each time. The scars are where no one can see. I cut on my right thigh. I haven't worn shorts since 5th grade so no one asks questions. Its now July only 7 months later and after a month of holding out, I couldn't take it when my parents had a huge screaming fight and I cried. I hate crying because it shows weakness. I never cry in front of people. I'm still hiding it. No one will ever know the numbness I experience. Three years depressed with no treatment is giving me no hope at all. It is almost too much for me. I am sorry if my story is boring to you in any way but this is my life.
shygirlxo shygirlxo
3 Responses Jul 24, 2010

I am shygirlxo. I forgot my password and made a new account.

I'm sorry your mom takes her anger out on you. My mom would do the same thing so I know how you feel. That feeling of helplessness because you are underage and are trapped and have to put up with it for 2 more years is aweful, believe me I know. All I can say is try to be strong and hang in there, message me if you need to talk.

i understand and you shouldnt think it's boring its your life its real and it sucks.