im 16 and i've been cutting for two years. i was emotionally abused as a child but in ways that people think doesn't leave a mark. people think that i have a good life and that im just whining about it. My sister and may father and my faliure of a mother were all bipolar. i was the only sane one. but turns out living with abusive bipolar freaks turns you into one well kinda. i was diagnosed with a mood disorder. i hate that they call it that. and it was caused by the rest of them . so in 9th grade my sister started suting herself she is four years older than me she wanted to deal with our parents fighting so much. but she didn't just wanted to deal. she wanted to die and leave me ther. she was my protector and when she started cutting i was in the middle of it all her pain my fathers anger and my mothers critisism but i still feel like my sister had it worse i feel like im a poser because th dea in my school is that if your not doing it seriously then your faking and being a wuss. see cutting in my school is a fad so if your not trying to kill yourself your being stupid. so i tried to stop my mom found out and told everybody so i was corvered for a while but lately i can't help it things are getting as bad as they used to be and idk but i can't handle it. i don't know what to do but i feel weak that i can't handle it. i feel stupid and weak and i want it to stop.
31-35, F
Jul 24, 2010