Scars That Haunt Me And How I Started

I remember the day too well. My mother and father were fighting, my mom threw glass at him but missed, causing it to hit the wall and shatter. In a matter of seconds, they were throwing punches at each other while me and my little brother were in the middle trying to pull them away from each other, screaming. Once I managed pulling my father away, my mom couldn't see out of one of her eyes and they were both were on the verge of blacking out. My brother sobbing in the corner, after I was done jumping up and down in frustration, I crossed the room to comfort him, I was barefoot and pieces of shattered glass cut my foot. The thing is, I liked the pain. I think that's when I finally realized that I liked the pain, it calmed me down, I was in control. In case your wondering, I took my mother to the hospital and her eyes are fine now, the blood circulation was interrupted for a while that's all. I have stopped but I know it's not forever, I'm tempted everytime I look at something sharp, even when someone hands me scissors in public, I have to run the cool metle on my skin and sigh.
The scars are still there, they are countless across my arms. I don't know if I'm a good liar or if people just don't care enough to second-guess.
deleted deleted
8 Responses May 11, 2012

dont put your self down. youre right i dont know you but still. i thought you were pretty cool and you know just dont want you hurt

dont do that to yourself, people are hard to take. believe me ive had struggles, maybe not like yours but, not alowing yourself to get close to any one isnt the answer. you desserve to have someone or many people in your life. people you love and most importantly people who love you and respect the great person i know you are

you just seem really cool, i dont want you hurt in any way. sorry i know i dont really know you but just dont want you in any more pain, i know pain will never stop but still i dont like you hurting. sorry dont mean to sound over protective

dont give up on god, every thing you have gone through have made you stronger right? maybe thats his initial plan. sorry dont mean to get preachy. and thanks i thot my user name was funny. and i try not to feel sorry for any one, i hate to be pittied i was simply sorry, but its all coool

hi, im sorry you had to go through that. i know i dont know you but i hope you dont do anything to dangerous. i hope things are better. may god bless and you will be in my prayers

Your an amazing older sister and well haha im the youngest of my family x) and no i don't believe you're a good liar (when it comes to the cuts, no offense) or that no one cares its just that those people see those scars on you and think "damn shes tough, so she can manage also if she wants to talk well yea~" also my friends are on and off (i havent in a while) You like the pain, well hey we all have that little oddity that we all like and well please don't do something very dangerous, just use a rubber band and make it like (well when you pull it away from you and it like whacks you?) idk x) <br />
p.s. i hope your parents are okay now

Wow. I am really sorry this happened to you. I can't see how you bare it. I think your the strongest person I've ever heard of.

you should be a writer. check out truman capote-herman hesse-ann rice-good reading.