Why?

I have been cutting myself since i was a teenager. I kept it a secret. I stopped in my early 20's and started again when i was 26. It's been a couple of years, since i cut myself. But i am now doing it a lot. I have never been to a Dr. So i have no idea WHY i do this to myself. For about 2 days every 2 weeks, i feel extremely LOW. I sleep the whole time, and cut myself. Everyone says i am bi-polar, but i don't have the "up" part of bi-polar. I always think of suicide, but would never do it. I told my mom today about, and she was angry at me. Which made me want to cut myself even more. Does anyone know WHY, i do this? Is it Bi-polar disorder? Depression? I am being treated for Anxiety. I get awful attacks, and feel like i am going to have a heart attack. I just feel like i should have outgrown this behavior, when in fact, it has only got worse : ) Please someone tell me what to do!!! I feel crazy!! : (
Razorgirl Razorgirl
31-35, F
May 16, 2012