Will I Ever Stop??

The first time I cut my self when I was 10 after telling my mom i was molested by my cousin for many years. I honestly don't know why I did it all I know is it made me feel so much better. Ever since that day when I was going through all my trials when things got hard its just what I did always in the same spot with a razor I picked apart on the bathroom floor....I am 20 now I've been with my bf for almost 3 years now hes knows of my cutting an although hes not a fan of it he understands...The last time i cut was two weeks ago when I came home from a week out of town .... I feel so weak when i do it , it makes me feel not normal , i feel like I am too old to be dealing with my problems this way....on the other hand i honestly don't know any other way... i find it harder an harder to stop when I cut I feel like all of my problems are bleeding out an all I have to do its glide the blade an wipe away,,, it makes me sick to my stomach that i think this is normal that I think that this is the only way i can deal with my problems.....I guess i just want to know will i ever stop?
Mia9181 Mia9181
18-21, F
May 16, 2012