No Hope

Im sure you already know the basis of this. Yes I cut. Do I regret it? It is too complex for me to answer. I'm 16. I was in recovery, for about a year. I stopped cutting, life got great. Great friends and great school life. Nothing was going wrong. Then everything took a turn for the worst and everyone walked out of my life. I am left with one person: myself. And anyone who cuts should know this. The person you are most scared of is yourself. You may not be the cause of this but you are still doing it to yourself. I want this to be over. I don't want to feel this way. I read something on tumblr once. It made me cry like no other. It said: some days I like to laugh and have fun and other days all I want to do is sit in a dark corner and slide a blade across my skin. That truly gave me a wake up call. I never want to be classified as someone so dark, twisted and crazy. But the problem is, that is what I am living and no one can see it. I don't think anyone will, and that scares me the most. I sit at home, actually wishing someone would put me in a psych ward. (crazy, right?) but I know that if I am there, I can get help. I want help. I don't like this I don't want to feel like this I hate this. I hate it. I hate what ive become. I hate what this is doing for me. I just need someone. Anyone. Someone that understands. Please.
iamaprettylittleliar iamaprettylittleliar
18-21, F
May 20, 2012